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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend had been going out a year and a half. Things were great, then he told me that he wanted to join the Army. I knew he wanted to do this before we met but nothing was ever said until this far in the relationship. It broke my heart. I felt that he obviously didn't love me as much as I loved him. I felt he had been selfish. He had let me fall in love with him just to break my heart. We argued continously and we finally broke up. We both still loved each other but we both agreed it wouldn't work any more. He dumped me. We were still seeing each other as friends and then one day we ended up having sex. Every time we saw each other after that, even though we tried to resist each other, we would have sex. It was amazing. When we split up I was seeing someone else. This was a rebound thing and this bloke knew it. After 3 months of being apart we both still loved each other and we got back together. I found out that when we were apart he was seeing someone else, even though I had done the same thing this really hurt me. He still hasn't gone in the army due to complications but he will be going in May. Do you think I'm right to be hurt by him seeing this other girl? Do you think this relationship will work? Should I end it now or should I give it a go? please help xXx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): I think that you have got to realise that this is just a purely sexual relationship. If it was meant to work out then neither of you would have sought other partners. The fact that he is going into the forces suggests to me that he is not ready for a commitment with you. You aren't married, can you see yourself waiting for him when he's faraway and you don't know what he's up to? It's not as though he's made a commitment to you engagement, marriage etc. He just sees you as his casual sex partner and if thst's ok with you, then so be it. If you're not happy with that then it's time for you to move on.
A
female
reader, Seratuki  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Okay...
I'd hate to hurt you more, but I have to be honest here. You were seeing someone else also, and while it may hurt that he's been with someone else, you can't fault him if you did the same thing. Thats the pot calling the kettle black.
Secondly, having a partner in the army can be hard, my brother is in the Navy, and I see how lonely his wife is without him, so why not be friends while he's gone, and try to pick it up when he returns? Being in the armed forces changes people, and he may be a very different person when he returns, besides that, being tied to someone who's never around is a very lonely life indeed.
HTH
Sera-Tuki
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Well a military lifestyle is gonna be pretty tough. But if you really love each other and not just seeing each other for the sex then give it a shot, a lot of people have partners in the armed forces and they're doing good.
Maybe your ex is also in a rebound relationship himself. Talk to him and find out if that is the case.
In the end, it doesn't look like you have much to lose and since your new guy knows its a rebound thing, he probably wont even get hurt much!
Good luck
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