A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi there.I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years a year ago. He relocated back to his home town, met and moved in with someone else depressingly quickly. I felt like I had finally let go when he called to let me know that his mother had passed away which I thought was a nice gesture. He says he is eager to have me as a friend which I guess is OK, but is still with the other girl and she gets very upset if even my name is mentioned. Apparently this situation frustrates him as she is in regular contact with her exes, and if this is the case this is a double standard. There is a reason why he cannot upset her now, so he feels trapped. She does not have any female friends and I guess wants to maintain the connection with her exes. In a nutshell it all sounds a bit of a mess on his end. I like the guy and am no longer in love with him and see no problem with a friendly relationship but it has to be on his terms. Is it wise to maintain this connection or cut it clean? The renewed contact from him has brought up fresh pain when I thought it was over and done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Cut it clean. You don't need this grief and his new gf doesn't need it, either. I don't think he's over you completely and he's made the error of moving into a new relationship way too fast. I wonder...the first time your ex bf mentioned your name and saw her painful reaction, I am wondering why he didn't just stop? Some guys do this. He's showing a lack of control and judgment. I think it's rude, cruel and disrespectful to his new love and to you. You need to say goodbye to him, once and for all.
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Hi there, i am afraid it is really your decision to make whether or not to remain friends or not with your ex. For me i usually decide to remain friends or not depending on how d relationship ended or how he treated me throughout the relationship.
For you there is alot to consider.if your friendship with him still causes you pain then perhaps you still havent to let go as you thought you have. Also, His ex isnt being very welcoming and i dont think it is wise to put yourself in a situation whereby you feel like the intruder.
If i was in your shoes since he is really making an effort to remain your friend i would be his friend but not a close one. There by freeing myself from any emtional ties and problems with his girlfriend.
take care and goodluck.
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