A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 20 years, we are not married but have two lovely teenage daughters. How do I tell him I no longer love him enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): Sounds like a troubled relationship - 2 children w/out benefit of marriage?? Like the song says "50 ways to leave your lover" basically just do it - quick and simple.
A
female
reader, Ears4tears +, writes (21 September 2007):
 hello ;)
Unfortunatly there is no easy way out of it hun, you have to be honest with him, your no use to the relationship if heart simply isnt in.
By dragging it on you'd be living a lie, youll never be happy and in the long run youll only hurt him by resenting the fact you stayed with him. You both deserve the chance to be happy.If you cant love your partner or want share your life with him let him find someone who does and eventually you can do the same. Your daughters are old enough now to understand.
You should do the right thing for all of you.
Be strong and youll be ok xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (21 September 2007):
 You simply tell him gently, and as honestly as you can. I myself moved out of the home I shared with my man for 20 years in an effort to help him prepare for the possibility of divorce. He still hasn't adjusted, but I have. And I've met someone that truly excites and stimulates me. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do and most of our friends have turned their back on me. There isn't a day that goes by, that I don't worry about what I'm doing, and wonder if I'm going to wake up and realize I made a mistake. But I know the last 10 years have been empty and mundane. Even counseling didn't help because I really had no desire to "work" on the marriage because I no longer loved him that way. I read an article today about a woman in Germany who proposing that all marriages expire after 7 years. I hate to see it, but I think that would be a wonderful idea. Even 10 years would be a good benchmark for a couple to simply have a way out without all the legal crap. I know if my marriage had "expired" at the 10 year mark, I would've gladly left and not felt so guilty. I'm here if you want to talk. Good luck. xoxox
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A
female
reader, Ears4tears +, writes (21 September 2007):
Theres no easy way out hun it wont matter what you do or say he will be hurt. Youve got to be honest with him however hard it be, its not fair to stay in a relationship your heart isnt in. By telling him the truth your giving you and your partner the chance at a happier future.
In time he will be able to move on, move on too someone who can give him what you cant and be happy..... doesnt he deserve that.
You two girls are nearly adults now and are old enough to understand what you both need to move on.
Be strong and do whats right for you both xxx chin up xx
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