A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've fallen for a man (who lived in shared accomodation) for no longer than 6 months. (He has left now)However he had a gf but he consistently flirted with me, in the process I fell for him but now that hes moved out, Ive completed ridden him of all contacts. He's 'off-limits' and although its been very hard. I refuse to jeaopordise anyone elses relationship, and I also do not want my feelings to develop or to feel 'hurt' any longer.He did however once say "If I were ready to get married and let go of my 'bad ways', you would be the perfect wife for me".... I know its abit silly to dwell on it now but that comment has lingered on for a while in my mind and it makes me wonder... was it genuine? Big compliment? A ploy to pantyville?He also continously asked me marriage questions, when I'd like to settle down, if I want children soon after etc.He also showed (or so he says and repeated around 5 times) my picture to his mum and sister. :OHowever upon leaving he asked to keep in contact but made no effort aside from once. I did try to keep in contact but he showed disinterest therefore my decision to get rid as I dont feel the need for games.This whole saga has been complicated, Ive recieved plenty of mixed signals but I have always kept my dignity, I never let emotions take over and never gave in to temptation so Im very proud of that. I just hope I have the strength to get over him.
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flirt, moved out, want children Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou were right, as I'm "calmer" I'll realise it's not that bad.I'm very calm and infact hold nothing against him either anymore. Infact I'm proud of myself for doing the right thing by moving on and letting him be in his "happy relationship".Any respectful, dignified person would do that instead of getting in the way of anyones relationship.It's him who should be ashamed of himself if he has a conscience.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 Its perfectly justified to feel hurt and angry, because the whole thing is still fresh in your mind. Right now you would feel used, abused, cheated, angry, hurt...but once you give yourself some time to calm down and you realize actually how worthless he was and how its such a good thing you're out of the mess, it wouldn't hurt at all. You'll just look back uopn this incident as something that happened in the normal course of things. Because this man doesnt deserve a second thought from you, ever.
If you do bump into him, I dont think he's going to ask you anything. Infact, he may just pretend he doesnt even know you because he's in a "happy relationship" and you're a part of his past who might just ruin the party for him. Even if you do talk to him, dont mention anything about this. It will be like giving him too much importance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs it justified to feel 'anger' and 'hurt'?
I feel used, decieted and foolish.
Also if I bump into him, is it wise to tell him (if questioned why I cut him off, I doubt it will happen) I moved on as he's in a happy relationship?
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A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (18 April 2011):
 I'll bet he says that to all the girls. He sounds like an opportunist. You were convenient at the time and he gave you a little attention, but now you're no longer convenient for him. I am glad you didn't waist too much time on him. Keep away, he's not worth it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis may sound like a silly question but is my 'anger' and 'hurt' a justified reaction/feeling?
I feel a little used, decieted and very foolish.
If I ever bump into him and he asks why I cut off all contactsn is it wise to say I didn't want my feelings to develope purely because he is in a haPpy relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): Nothing he said meant anything because now he's gone and he hasn't even given you a second thought, you were just a bit of fun he could have when he saw you often. That's it. Try not to dwell on anything he said, if the words don't match the actions then they're bullshit and all this guy was doing was leading you on to boost his ego.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (18 April 2011):
I cannot emphasize enough...never, ever, EVER get involved with this man. Never trust a man when he says, "If I were ready to get married and let go of my 'bad ways', you would be the perfect wife for me". That screams PLAYER. Its like an oath that they all take, to get into a girls pants. I'm surprised he didnt say that he sees his unborn children in your eyes.
He hasn't shown your pic to his family. And he's actually done you the biggest favour by leaving early. Good for you for not letting your emotions take over. You will get over him and you deserve someone so much better who will love you, respect you and cherish you. Just wait for the right person. All the best!
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