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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm 21 years old and my fiance is 20 and 3 months pregnant by me but didn't tell me right away because she was scared. but we got over it and she moved in with me. we went to the doctor to see what we were having and we are having twin boys. I am super excited but I am also very scared. I am a first time father and I'm having two at the same time. My fiance is really happy and I don't want to bring her down with me being apprehensive about this. I'm cool on the outside but inside I'm freaking out. What can I do to calm myself down and get over this?
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female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (13 November 2008):
 Hello you,
If I can just say, my husband felt exactly the same as what you're feeling right now. I had twins too, and we were overjoyed, but at the same time we were terrified that we wouldn't cope - which is normal, so stop freaking out and think positive, you'll be fine.
You've been blessed with two in one go and that's a wonderful thing.
Please trust me when I say; it was brilliant, it all came naturally to us, we coped fine just as you both will too. You'll just have to be patient and prepare yourselves for a few sleepless nights, take turns in feeding them, unless your fiance decides to breast feed.
The fun part is watching them grow together, they will have each other for company all the time, and you'll be pleasantly surprised that they wont be wanting so much attention from you as a single child would. They will each have a permanent playmate and occupy one another.
I'm so happy for you both, and I wish your wife an easy pregnancy, an uncomplicated delivery and I also want to wish you all the strength, health and happiness you need to become a lovely family unit.
Congratulations and the very best of luck!
BigSis
xXx
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (13 November 2008):
 FIRSTLY,
Congratulations!!!
It's scary, sure, it's an unknown, but WOW, You certainly seem to be good at this!!! LOL! I think that your very NORMAL and HUMAN reaction to this is absolutely valid!!! But, May I Commend YOU on being a great Fiance? You are being Incredibly mature and WISE beyond your years. You are putting your Fiancee's feelings FIRST. That's really GALLANT. Do you have ANY idea how many men are GALLANT these days? Well, YOU are one of them!!!! That's what a man is supposed to do for the woman who is carrying his child. SO, you seem to have a knack for this!!!!!
Honestly, every human being is TERRIFIED when they first find out that they are with child, and to be told that their first time is twins is doubly scary! Sure, there are Lots of other emotions too - it's Amazing and Brilliant, but it it a daunting task! Bringing another life into this world- and You are bringing two!
If I were in your shoes, I would just be patient, Watch and WAIT for the most opportune time to bring up your feelings with her. She is going through a lot of hormonal changes, so she will be dealing with a lot. NONE-THE-LESS... Your feelings are VERY important!!! It's very important that she knows exactly how you feel, that you are having some anxiety about becoming a Dad! Communication is the most important thing in being a couple and in raising a family. I would just be extremely judicious about which words that I used to convey whatever fear that I had, considering the fear that she is going through herself.
If it's any reassurance to you, Nothing worth having is easy, Most of the things that we really appreciate are the things that we work the hardest for, and the MOST important things in life are Love and Our Family Ties. They are the things that truly make life worth living.
XXX
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