A
female
age
36-40,
*ylove_5757
writes:I am 17 and my boyfriend is 19, we're both virgins, and we've been waiting to do it for about 6 months, we tried to the other day, but he told me he couldnt get it in. Is this a major problem? What can i do to fix it?
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We're both still virgins, after three attempts! Never had problems with sex before, but with Joe, he couldn't even get it in! |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): same goes here, i have been with my gf for 4 months now and we have doon everything apart from sex yet, we have tried but i just cant get it in. were both virgins, but the thing was when i put a condom i lost my erection, is that normal? thanks
A
female
reader, mylove_5757 +, writes (14 January 2007):
mylove_5757 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks so much guys. i searched the net for answers about this, i guess i came to the right place. thanks a lot ill try your suggestions and ill update you.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 the most thing i bet is that youre being to tense you want to do it but you want to do it right try to empty youre mind..have lots of foreplay try and relax..try to reasure him too.. both explore each others bodies try and do fun things... chocolate, ice cubes and so forth..try some KY that may help..best bet is ure tense its ure first time you want it to be good and perfect..just relax it will happen, just have fun be intimate.. hope this helps xxx A
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Oh my God, I went through the exact same thing when I first had sex. And it took me an entire MONTH to finally get it in. I was just too tense. What you need to do is spend loootttsss of time just exploring each other and having fun together.
Lubrication is also key. Lots and lots of it. My favorite is KY Warming Liquid - it warms up to the touch and it's not too sticky. You can get it at any convenience store - Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aid, or a grocery store with a pharmacy section.
The key is for him to spend lots and lots of time giving you plenty of attention. It's all about you. You need to reeelllaaaxxx and not force it. Be patient and be super open with communicating with each other.
It might take more than a couple of times to finally get it in, but in the meantime, have lots of fun in the journey. The first couple times are so much fun!! Even if they don't work, they're still a lot of fun.
Good luck and happy trying!!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (14 January 2007):
 You are not alone - not a week passes on this site without someone writing in with this exact problem! It always takes time to learn to do something new, especially when there's all that nervous excitement going on. You both need to relax, get some lubricant, sort out contraception, of course and away you go!
Just take your time, communicate, tell him when he's close or when he's not, tell him when it hurts and when to slow down. Don't be ashamed of all this, it's perfectly natural and it isn't like it is in the films. There's always problems when it's the first time, but you will get the hang of it.
Make sure he gives you lots of attention before trying to put it in. This will relax you and also make you wider and wetter so he can enter more easily. I always found a little drink made me relax more and turn it into more of a laugh rather than a shameful and clumsy act!
Chill out about this, it will happen. Be patient, communicate and be open about what's nice and what isn't, and above all, enjoy! Keep me posted!
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