A
female
age
41-50,
*exy babe1980
writes:I know this guy he like me i like him the problems is in the last 6weeks we hardly seen eachother. His a security graud and am a barmaid all we been doing is text when we get a chance and talk on the phone for abit can someone plz help me out with any idea how 2 make it work. Thank you for taking the time to read this
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (28 October 2011):
Hi. This is exactly what you need to discuss with him in great detail.
When you do talk, you will find out how he feels about it also.
The chances are, he probably has the exact same doubts as you do.
So all the more reason to have the talk as soon as you possibly can.
Then you can weigh it all up - for and against.
In any case, before making any decision, it requires some serious consideration and a conversation between you - and the sooner the better.
A
female
reader, Sexy babe1980 +, writes (27 October 2011):
Sexy babe1980 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm just worried that if we move in together that we are moving 2 fast in our realationship i want 2 be with him but i dont want 2 ruin it either
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (27 October 2011):
Hi. Well at the very least, you will almost certainly see each other more than you do now.I believe it will definitely make a difference.It sure beats the heck out of texting and calling all the time, that's for sure.If you are both really sure about the move to live together, well then all I can say is go for it!However, before you take the leap and do it, sit down together and have a serious discussion about how you feel it will all pan out.Once you move in together, you'll have to come to some agreement about budgeting, paying bills, and expenses such as rent, etc. Just to make sure you don't start arguing about money all the time. You both need to be absolutely sure of how things will change once you do move in together. You both need to be on the same page with this.Preferably, before you move in would be better to talk about money, bills, expenses, so you can sort it all out before you do move in.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sexy babe1980 +, writes (26 October 2011):
Sexy babe1980 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe asked me to move in with he think if we live together there a better chance of spenting time togerther he think that the only way we can give it a probly go he think if we dont your change 2 make work now we both will regert it we wait 10 year for both 2 be singal at the same time do you think movin in 2gether is a good idae
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (25 October 2011):
Hi. As you are both shift workers, this is the major part of the problem.
For you to have any chance of seeing each other on a regular basis, you both need to be doing the same time shift - both doing night shifts, or both doing day shifts.
You can probably see the problem here, for obvious reasons.
When you are doing the opposite shift of each other, you are like ships passing in the night. It's virtually impossible to plan for anything. One of you is going to bed, while the other is leaving to start their shift.
The real solution to this problem, is that one of you needs to change careers.
Unfortunately, you are both in careers where night shift is part and parcel of these two professions.
Ideally, it would be easier all round if you both worked at conventional day jobs, where you work from 9am - 5pm. Then you are both free to have a life, at the same time.
Unless you can really do this, you are both fighting an uphill battle - with no light at the end of the tunnel.
Changing careers for either of you, is probably going to require some further education. It might be worth it though. What about doing a study course at your local TAFE?
Have a think about it.
The reality of this situation, is that unless either or both of you can change what you do for a living - and soon, well then long term, you are going to struggle to keep it going. There are going to be some very long lonely nights in store for both of you if you don't.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sexy babe1980 +, writes (25 October 2011):
Sexy babe1980 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe been a couple for 6week. If i work day shift he work night if he work day i work night we work weekend as well he works all over the place we try wen he finish work at 6am he come over for 10 mins cause i have 2 get ready for work we both want this 2 work we had feeling for eachother for 10 years but the timing was always worng but now the timing is right and seems we cant find the time we only live about 15 to 20 away form eachother plz help we dont want 2 lose out on our change again
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (25 October 2011):
Hi there. Are we talking about a boyfriend and girlfriend status here? Or, were you just friends 6 weeks ago?Were you actually going out then, or did you just work together? And were you more like work friends?Well seeing each other, really depends on if you are both working at the same time.By that I mean, do you both work night shift?Or, does one of you do day shift and the other one night shift?If you can answer this for me, then I can help you further with this.Also being able to see each other, will be influenced by how far away from each other you live or work. This will affect the time it takes to travel to meet up.If you are close in either work or where you live, PLUS you both work at the same time - day or night shift - well then a possibility is when you both have your breaks. You both have to have breaks, every 4 hours.If it's during a work shift and you work close to each other, perhaps you could meet for a coffee. Close being a short walk - 5 to 10 minutes OR a short drive of 5 minutes.I am of course, assuming that it's not a long distance relationship because you actually do see each other when you can, so that's not the real problem here.The difficulty you seem to be having, is in finding time to get together. So this tells me that your working hours is the main part of the problem.Texting is ok - up to a point. It's nowhere near as good as a phone conversation or actually seeing each other.It might have to be, that you will have to leave it till weekends to see each other and go out.In any case, it's a matter of seeing when you are not working and organising to meet up and go out somewhere. Whether it ends up being coffee or having lunch, simply depends on what blocks of time you both have during your average week.You could check your shifts and he check his, and see when you are off and he is off, and organize something for that time. Then mark it on your calendars or diaries.It really comes down to - "Where there is a will, there is a way."If you both really want to make it happen, you will find a way, I promise you.Especially, if you are sincere about each other.
...............................
|
