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anonymous
writes: Im 20yrs old and my boyfriend is 35yrs old (divorced w/ a child). We've been dating for about a year and have been living together for about a year.Just recently we've been arguing 6 days straight. Every day is just another issue. We are both stubborn people. But it seems that most of the time I give in. He sometimes treats me like a child. He doesn't want me to make any mistakes like he has in the past. But sometimes it's just frustrating. I dont know how to act towards him any more. It just seems that he doesn't care any more. When we argue he always says that I think I'm god and that I say I'm always right and I never let him be correct and right. And our love life is good, it's just that I take the intiative into making love and stuff, he just isn't like that and it bothers me sometimes. It makes me feel like he doesn't think I'm attractive. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): I understand. I'm that way sometimes myself. BUT! Before you let your emotions run high; STOP and really think about what you two are talking about. Think about what is really being said. It seems that when emotions come into play, things begin to get cloudy, frustrating and one begins to lose track.Men, we "fix" things. That's our nature. The reason we fix things is because we DO care. Sometimes not enough, sometimes too much.But in our own little way, we do. It's when we stop trying to fix that our sigificant others should worry.It seems that people are attracted to a person, then they want to change them. So how about this. Instead of try top MAKE someone be, act or anything else that aren't, guide them to your way of thinking.I would suggest a book called the 5 love languages. It is truly enlightening. You'll get a much better understanding of just your other thinks in terms of showing love. More importantly, they'll understand what you need to FEEL loved.I'm a married man of 44 with a 38 year old wife of 16 years, together almost 19 years. I thought I was doing everything right. WRONG!This book truly helped us get back on track.It is not a cure-all. But it will certainly help open up the communication lines so you can better understand each others way of thinking.I wish you the best of luck, and I'll pray for you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2006): no i think is not he cares about u alot but thts true also boyz thinkz they re better then girlz they ll right but girlz ll not my boyfriend has the same story but when we argu on something i ust lsten whtever he iz saying and alwayz keep my self cool....after when he complete hiz lecture he come bake to hiz right place i love him alot i think u 2...let him to do orr say whtever he want who carez...
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2005): If a relationship turns to arguments and constant fighting pain, agony and resulting in hating each other and the gap u building between each other will grow bigger and bigger love turns to hate, relationship breaks up, ur love dies coz u let it dies in front of u, when u see fire don’t use fire to slow it down, means try to ignore the ignorant coz when patient runs out, some people will try to end their life by freeing their soul from painful relationships and the effort and the time u put and spent together was a big waste, like work 7 days / week then on Sunday go to Casino and burn it then walk all night for 4 hours to get home ;) innocent kids are the only victim of such tragic unhappy endings. If he doesn't find u attractive or sexy anymore, someone else will love u, or if he pretends he had enough of u, there are plenty fish in sea, u don’t need sharks sweetie, and golden fish is the one u need. try to be happy and try to go out and ejoy ur life with some other friends and never live under a dull sky for the rest of ur life we do meet losers in life sometimes, but the decision to kick him can be made by u, not by him.Sorry for any spelling error ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2005): hey you asked me how old my man was well he is 35 and i am 21 just like you and your man. have you figured out anymore solutions to our prob?
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reader, sxymamicuta +, writes (16 April 2005):
Hey Angel-lee thanks for your great response. We talked about everything and he doesn't want to argue anymore and is trying to improve his temper. I will take your advice thanks with the undies...lol
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reader, Angel-lee +, writes (15 April 2005):
This sounds very familier! i am 19 years old (20 in July) i was with someone for 5 years, i got with him when i was 14 and i loved him very very much, but after a while it sought of seemed like he went off me. I couldnt establish any reason for it apart from the fact that he might not love me anymore. We were always arguing, constantly, even now its like a ringing in my ears. I loved him with a passion, he was my first real love and i never really thought we would part. I thought we were going to be together forever . After 5 years of arguing, breaking up every other week, him coming back saying he loves me and he wants to make a fresh start, basically being so unhappy, i forgot how to smile, i had had enough. I told myself that night, i am not going to be taken for granted anymore (because that sounds like what he is doing to you) the following morning i woke up, had a shower, put my make up on, brushed my hair, made myself feel really good and i faced the day, went to work, came home. He called me, i told him i was going out and that i wouldnt be seeing him that evening, i didnt let him no i was upset i just done it. I could here the sound of his voice change. It was the sound of "i havent got a hold on her anymore". After a couple of weeks of not calling him and not answering the phone some days he came round my house, got down on his knees and begged me to forgive him and that he would not treat me like im insignificant again" i told him there wasnt a problem, i just fancied staying in on my own and having some time to myself. I didnt make it a big deal, but to him, it was. Anyway getting to the point....you are very young, you need to enjoy your life, if he isnt treating you right, tell him where to stick it, if he is making you feel like you are not attractive then there is something wrong. Dont let him drag you down, it happened to me and i wish i had been stronger. You put your message on this site so there must be an issue. The best thing for you to do is what i did, let him do the running. Go out with your friends, meet other people, if you fancy sex, try your best not to let him catch on. By yourself some sexy underwear, some candles and a dildo and your sorted! Get in bed with him one night, after being out in some real sexy underwear, lie next to him and try and get to sleep, he will wonder why you didnt try it on with him and why on earth you are wearing such sexy underwear, did you cheat on him, were you wearing it for someone else. Get that brain of his working overtime. Believe me, all he needs is a good kick up the bottom, keep him on his toes darlin, you wont be disapointed. He'l be all over you like a dog on heat! and you'l be lovin it.
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