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anonymous
writes: Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a while now. We are both teenagers and are 15. We have talked about sex and feel we are both ready for it, but she says that sometimes after we do things together i.e 'heavy petting' or foreplay etc it hurts for her. Is this normal or am I doing something wrong? Or has she got something wrong with her? Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2005): I have to say i strongly disagree with what Dearjulie has said. I myself lost my virginity at 15 to a girl who I wasnt particularly interested in but we were both drunk. She was older at 17 and although I do'nt really regret it I would have prefereed to have lost it to a partner in a relationship, so if both you and your girlfriend feel you are ready, go for it, but about her being hurt, ask her to help you along while 'heavy petting'. That way you can find out what she likes and how her body reacts, it can be a lot of fun to explore each other's bodies and sex is not always necesarry to prove affection. Do what you both feel is right but remember to go slow and look out for her if you do have sex, make it an experience youll both remember your relationship posatively for. Also dearjulie of course you can be ready for sex without being ready for children, people go through their whole lives without being ready for children but still enjoy sex. That's a very close minded comment to make. Enjoy your teenage years, you only get them once, but always use protection and be sure you're ready. good luck kiddo.
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reader, DearJulie +, writes (21 June 2005):
Sex at 15 is a huge thing. She is probably in pain because she is physically not ready. Lust is a very powerful emotion and it can make you think that the two of you are ready to have sex. Have the two of you discussed how you are going to support a child? Because you know if at 15 you farther a child you will be financially responsible for the rest of your life. You are definetly doing something wrong. At 15 your bodies and your minds are not ready for this type of commitment. SEX can change everything in your life all the way from kids to disease and even your partner having the feeling of always being dirty. You both should really reconsider your decision to engage in sex. At 15 you really should be focusing on other aspects of your life. If you are not capable of raising children then you are not ready to have sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2005): you may want to try foreplay in a different way, trying things that will make it feel good for her. Ask her to be open and tell you exactly what to do. If you REALLY feel you are ready for sex, make sure you respect each other and talk about it first. Sex for the first time does hurt, so yes that is normal..otherwise, foreplay shouldn't hurt if she isn't dry. goodluck!
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reader, cordy14 +, writes (21 June 2005):
If your girlfriend is in pain then it could be that she is not fully relaxed and enjoying what is happening or it could be that in your own excitement you are being too rough.YOu must speak to hear to make sure that your girlfriend is happy taking part in heavy petting.As you are only 15 please do not rush into sex. I lost my viginity at 17 and I regret it as I was not comfortable and did not fully trust my partner. Please do not rush your girlfriend into a similar situation.
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reader, jessknot +, writes (21 June 2005):
well, it's very normal, it could be you or her or both, you may be a little rough, just remember slow and gentle are best. in order to be ready to have sex you need the right moves, just don't go into something you know little about, study up on it and know what you're doing. if you're both ready, go for it!
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reader, Cutie_pie1990 +, writes (21 June 2005):
heya, To start off you do realise you are both underage! But if you feel you are ready that's fair enough as long as you use protection.For some girls it is "tighter" than others so it will be more painful the first time than others. the only other thing it could be is that she may have an infection and this could also be aggrivating the problem. You could go to a GUM clinic to get things checked out, just to be on the safe side. It is confidential and they don't tell your G.P. I hope you sort things outbest wishes and Good luckRobynxxxxx
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reader, aunt april  +, writes (21 June 2005):
I think you are a little too young to be having sex but if you both really feel ready please use condoms. This is very normal for your girlfriend as she is coming of age where her body is developin. There is nothing wrong with her or you. Maybe you should just stick to heavy petting for now until she is totaly ready for you, but whatever you decide plasae have safe sex.
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