A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I decided to dump my boyfriend but afterwards realised i didnt want to do it i was feeling low im much happier now , The thing is 2 week ago he said he wanted to give it another go and we made plans to meet but i was ill with tonsillitis so cancelled he was fine with this . The issue i have is my friend joined a dating site a month ago and saw him on it in the last few days so told me .( she has private photos so he doesnt know shes seen him , no they havent been seeing each other either ) Hes very active on the site too . Why would he be on a dating site when we got back together should i show him proof and then tell him to get lost or just cut complete contact and never speak to him again and not give him any reason ? thanks
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 March 2016):
 Why do you think he's on a dating site? He's searching for other women.
Email him a link to his dating site profile, wish luck in his search, then delete him and block every means he has of reaching you.
A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (17 March 2016):
Oh dear...Ok so I'm hearing that you finished the relationship, then decided you had made a mistake, and then both of you wanted to try again.He had turned to a dating site quickly after you broke up, so it isn't clear why this was but my guess would be for distraction, and that's perfectly fine as when a couple split up they can do what they like.Now you have found that he still is on this site and active, however you haven't actually met to properly reconcile...is that right? You were poorly...how did you decide to get back together? Text? Phone call? Have you both committed into this now is what I'm asking? If the answer is yes, absolutely 100% you ate back together then I would say you have a real problem on your hands here...he is hedging his bets to see how he feels again with you and how it goes whilst keeping his options open.I love that Aunt Nora suggests he may have a friendship on there with a woman, and it might be true - but I seriously doubt it. I would meet with him to lay out between you what you want for your future, then ask your friend to check his activity for a couple of days after you have both done this. Thus will tell you if he is fully in to your relationship or keeping options.Please let us know how it goes and good luck
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 March 2016):
 I'd would ask him that question.
My guess is though, that he has gotten any bites on the dating site and THAT is why he wanted to get back together with you. So he HAS someone while he is looking for greener grass. The fact that he is still VERY active, shows that he is STILL looking.
There is a reason you two broke up. What ever that was, has the issues been resolved? If not.. why get back together? It didn't work the first time you two dated, how come you think it will now?
Talk to him, see what happens. If he gets SUPER defensive... then you know.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (17 March 2016):
In everything,there is advantages and disadvantage,and as you have found out-that is the down-side of dating sites.Would you consider having a nice calm chat with your boyfriend,telling him that you are aware that he is still on a dating site,and see what he has to say [1] he is either serious about you or[2] he is still on the look out for another girl.Let him explain and then you can decide what to do.But dont do anything until you are sure.There is always the possibility that he has -friends-on site,and he is just in contact with them on a friendship level.So take it cool.Best wishes.NORA B.
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A
female
reader, Kate1967 +, writes (17 March 2016):
You dumped him.
He doesn't trust that you won't do it again, so he's keeping his options open.
Either that or he's going to dump you to get even.
Men are simple.
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