A
male
age
30-35,
*rBrightside90
writes:Hello everyone,Yesterday I had a date with my ex-girlfriend, we date like a year ago, then she broke up and we did not speak for several months.Now she innitiated contact and I aggreed to go out with her. Everything went really wel, she told me she was really having a bad time without me (She is anorexic), then she told me that it was partly my fault, because I was not there for her. I dont think that remark was fair at all because I did not have a clue what was going on at that time. She told me she loved me and missed me that night.Anyway, now the next day after the date, she claimed that I have not changed, that she gets a negative vibe when she is talking to me. She keeps mentioning that I am sad and depressed. I dont agree at all, and I felt very sad when she said that she gets a negative vibe when talking to me. She also told me that people saw that I was clearly unhappy, and that I did not have a direction in life. (I am currently in my freshman year of college. And I dont think any 19 year old has a clear purpose in life) I felt like she was contradicting herself, first telling me that she loves me, then the next day being a totally different person. I am very confused, this girl has pulled crap like this many times before, and I am really sick of it, however there is a part of me that loves her, and keeps hanging on. After the breakup, now 7 months later I feel like everything is the same again, the same old emotional rollecoaster, and I keep riding it out time and time again.Should I confront her with this, any thoughts?Love,Mrbrightside
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anorexic, broke up, depressed, ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 Sadly , you cannot change people in the way they act or think.
All you can do is to limit your time and tell her that you have to concentrate on your studies. In time , she will fade from your scene.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 Since she is anorexic and has self-harmed, I suggest you go carefully. Tell her your not happy and things are not working out. Tell her you don't think you and her are helping one another. Tell her you can't do relationships at the moment because your head is confused.. just break it to her gently and as nice as you can.
I also suggest you tell her to tell her friends and spend time with them if she is feeling sad and needs someone to talk to. Then don't take any of her calls..
I fear that she is already dependant on you and that is not fair. You need a healthy girl to spend your time with. If you are really worried, contact her parents, tell them you have broken up and ask them to look after her..
Blessings, I hope all goes well.... :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 April 2010):
You have to tell her it's time to move on, then cut all contact.
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A
male
reader, MrBrightside90 +, writes (3 April 2010):
MrBrightside90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, the docters actually only gave her a few months at a certain point, just imagine the damage done to a body when you starve yourself all the time.
Anyway, she still is saying that she doesn't need help, that she will do better herself.
She was saying exactly the same words, maybe even the same sentence structure, a year ago. It freaks me out, Im 19 years and I have to worrie about someone dying from this, I want to break of contact, but I dont know how to bring it.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (3 April 2010):
She's anorexic, she's not well, she has a very funny brain and her thinking is screwy. She feels bad about herself and instead of accepting that something is wrong she starves herself, she blames you for things that she see's in herself.
How much do you love this girl? She's very sick and until she gets well it will always be like this. You are young, a new woman will be easier. If you love her then search the internet for articles about anorexia and depression... However she's very sick and she really needs to see a psychologist or counsellor to help her sort out her head.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 April 2010):
No, it's time to move on from this girl. SHE is the one who has not changed and has problems. SHE was the one who came back. SHE has pulled this sort of thing before.
It's not you, it's her.
Just get rid of her and cut all contact. Don't waste your time on someone so unreliable who will then blame you.
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A
female
reader, tempertrap +, writes (3 April 2010):
It sounds like you would be better off without her.
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