A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid;I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and lately our relationship is very rocky. We just recently got the internet, and since then, our communication has virtually come to a hault. I work at night and he works during the day so we already very rarely see eachother.Recently he has been cold. He has been making hurtful remarks about my body, and every time I go to eat somthing he says "are you really going to eat that? it just turns into fat" Its really starting to hurt my feelings.And get this, he told me that if I dont loose 20 pounds by may 31st, he is going to leave me. My self esteem is crushed, and that comment knocked all the wind right out of me. He hurt me to the core.Do you have any clue what might be going on? Is there any hope for me. I love him unconditionally, I just excpect the same love in return!Please help!!-loosing it from AZ
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crush, self esteem, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): Tell him if he doesn't love you the way you are there are plenty out there who will. And ask him whether he thinks he's perfect. And whether he's pinned his hopes on someone on the Internet who could be as ugly as sin! (Sounds a coincidence that the communication halted when you got onto the Internet.)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): I think this man is a coward. He hasn't got the guts to tell you he doesn't want to be with you any more and is giving you all the reasons he can think of for you to dump him, so that he doesn't have to do the dirty work of breaking up with you himself.
Sling him out with the garbage - that's where he belongs.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): What a nasty person - I would have been tempted to say something like "well if you cant grow a bigger penis by the 31st May, I will leave you too".
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (24 April 2009):
How DARE he make a demand like that.
Have you pointed out that you'd have to diet DANGEROUSLY to hit that deadline?
He's basically saying "harm your health for my pleasure" and that makes it very clear that he does not care about you. He doesn't give a crap over whether you develop an eating disorder and die.
Meet up with him, buy yourself a big bowl of icecream and when he makes a comment, tip it over his head, tell him he's an arrogant selfish jerk and he can go and try and control some other poor girl because you are not going to be told what to do by a worthless little boy like him.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Love4Life +, writes (24 April 2009):
 I don't usually sound this harsh but he sounds Like a dick. I personally think that the way hes coming off he doesn't care for you the way he should. You don't deserve to be talked down too. He has told you that he'll break up with you if you don't loose 20 lbs. That just seems right their in itself that he only cares about your body and not you. If you want to lose 20 pounds do it for yourself then dump his ass. Sorry it just irks me when people talk down to a lady. Talk to him and tell him how you feel if he acts like he doesn't care you have your answer. I always believe to try and work through but if he's always belittling you it's not good. A relationship is about two people. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should be the one person too keep your self esteem high. But seriously if he doesn't see your side you have to ask your self does he even care what you think. I hope I have been of some help....
Miah
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A
female
reader, say_anything +, writes (24 April 2009):
 I cannot believe he would say such hurtful things to you, or issue ultimatums for you to lose weight! that's awful! he should be able to appreciate you for the person you are and not what the scale says, he's pathetic. in my opinion, the only time a partner should make comments about the other's weight is if it is affecting their health (physically or emotionally), and they should do so in a constructive, supportive way i.e. let's go to the gym as a couple, let's cook our own dinner tonight.
i think you need to let him know he has hurt your feelings and you are not prepared to tolerate such insensitivity. you don't deserve to be spoken to like this. if your weight bothers you, that is up to you to decide what action to take. it is your body, it is not up to him. if he's too much of a child to speak to you with respect, you deserve better in a relationship.
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