A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I finally gave into one of my fantasies and had (protected) sex the other night with a complete stranger. It's completely out of my character for one, but I have to admit that this guy was the best I've EVER had in bed. I explained to him that this was indeed a first for me. He reassured me that one night stands aren't typically this amazing. He was obviously very into me too. The next night, we went out again, and we had sex again - lasting for hours, just like the night before.My question is this...He took my number and texted me the next night letting me know that I had a place to stay whenever I came back to town (i live 3 hours away). This guy is obviously very busy with his career and travels a lot. I too am extremely busy. But, seeing as I'm real nervous about doing this again (with disease, and the fact that he was sooo good in the sack, that I'm sure he does this a lot). Everyone knows that you can still get an STD even wearing condoms. How do I explain to him that when I come back to town next month, I'd like to see him, but take it back a few steps. Like maybe try going on a date and taking things slow?? Is this possible? I mean, I could ask him to get tested before I come back, but if he's sexually active with other women, that defeats the purpose. Am I just in over my head expecting more out of something I already established as being solely sexual?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, it's me the original poster...See the thing that is baffling were the intimate moments in between all this sex. He def got in my head, as there were moments that he just held me and told me to look at him because he loved my eyes. Most men do not have the emotional thing going, esp. I would assume for a one night stand...Oh, and yes, I did ask him after the first night to get breakfast, which we did. Then that night, we met out for a drink first before we went out with our friends. So I'd assume he wanted to be seen in public with me.Regarding the STD thing... we wore condoms, yes, however... before it went on, there was a fair amount of skin to skin contact of "rubbing" and numerous amounts of oral on both ends. I never swallowed, and semen never entered me for that matter. But, I'm pretty sure that I did put myself at risk?? He did admit that he's been a whore the last five years. Seems like if I decide I'm really into this guy, that I'd be barking up the wrong tree, huh?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): 'Safe sex' is wearing a condom so I think that's going to be OK. You can not put the lid back on the box I'm afraid. He would think it odd if you suggested somehow dating as if you'd never been intimate. You are where you are - you can suggest that next time you visit it would be nice to go out for a meal - try and build a relationship. It could be that he thinks you are a free spirit and just getting together for sex is what he wants, after all that's what has happened already between you. Test the water, suggest doing something that does not involve sex and see where it goes. I would not go in 'all guns blazing' regarding getting him tested (if he continues with a condom you are ok) and somehow wanting to backtrack on sex etc. Take it easy and just see where this goes.
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A
female
reader, Beccccccy  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 Sweetie .. you are worrying about nothing ! There is nothing wrong with what you did ..you dont have any STD s , he wore a raincoat . Don't do anything , just enjoy your sexuality ..Nothing better than really enjoying a STRAY ...Dont pester him ..Just get on with your life and see what happens , if anything is meant to be , It will happen ..Just take it calm . And be happy you had great Sex ..No great life , without great Sex ..Enjoy honey .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): I'd say its definately still possible to get to know this guy, just intentions have to be clear in what each is looking for. However if he's busy and travels, chances are he may just want sex since he has no time for any relationship. Only way to know for sure is to talk to him and yeah always stay protected. Best.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (12 March 2011):
 He wore a condom so the percentage of you getting something from him is actually very low. And I wouldn't assume he has multiple partner just because he knows what he is doing. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, ask him. If he admitts to having a lot of partners then by all means aks him to get tested before you sleep with him again.
And yes, I think it is a little to late to change the rules on him now. You started this as purely a sexual relationship. So it will probably end as one.
The only thing you could do, is maybe meet him at his home or a hotel, sleep with him, then afterwards say something like this, "Hey I'm starving how about you? Lets go down to the bar or out to a resturant and get something to eat." If he acts reluctant to be seen in public with you then he is either not interested in getting to know you out of bed or he is married.
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