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Should I get back together with a bf who has hurt me so much?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 March 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Call me stupid or dumb but i don't know what to do.. i have been with my first love for three and a half years and we had a rough relationship. he has done a lot to me in the past but some how i still love him We weren't together for six months but we still see each other. i acted as if i had a wall up because i was afraid of him hurting me, meaning always flirting with girls and talking to them so then he moved on to another girl.

How can someone just do that, how can he? He even kept me on the side until i showed up at his house and his new girl was there. earlier that day i told him to choose her or me and he said me....when i caught him i told him everything what he said to me this morning also making love to me..the girl just kept quiet..he denied everything even the dad came out denying he saw me. Then i didn't talk to him for a while and he texted me saying "sorry for everything I've done".

The next day he still texted me how i was...two days later i realized i can forgive him but ill never forget what happened..then we both decided we would have a fresh start but i don't know, something is telling me deep down inside that it's going to happen again. I don't know what to do. It's like he doesn't understand what he did was wrong and also he was controlling and jealous but i still want to make it work..honestly what is going to happen...what is the best thing i should do? he says the reason why he went to her was because of the six months we were not together and he was supposed to show me that's why we weren't together...what is the best thing to do?

View related questions: flirt, get back together, jealous, text

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (15 March 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntThere is a great article on this site that can help you figure out what to do. Please check it out.

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (12 March 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntYou obviously have a brain so you need to get your heart on board with your head. One is no good with out the other.

You need to wait for someone that both your heart and your head can agree upon. Your head is telling you this guy is no good for a reason. You need to listen.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011):

He was your first love. It went wrong. You are now clinging to the wreckage of a relationship that's not working. Recognise it is over and start again. The more you hang on the more you will get hurt. In the long run why be with someone who you think you love but who makes you unhappy. There is someone out there who will be just right for you but unless you free yourself you are not going to move on. Sometimes you just have to draw a line and look to the future.

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A male reader, Welsh Uncle Dave United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2011):

It's often harder to let go of your first love and this is probably why you are struggling to decide.

Him wanting you back could be a case that he has grown up and realised what he's lost.

But then again hindsight is a great thing. What it can't do is tell you what will happen in the future.

My instincts tell me that if you had problems during the first three-and-a-half years, you're going to have more problems if you get back with him.

There are plenty more blokes out there including ones who will treat you better and it's only then will you properly realise that moving on without your ex is the right decision.

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