A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my ex and i have been broken up for almost 3 years...we have a 10 year old daughter together. we broke up because he was not ready to commit to our family. He often went out and choose his friends over us. He proposed to me and didnt follow through. EVen though he did all of this I still feel a strong connection to him. We have been friends since we were 13. 6 months after our brake up i met someone...i began dating him. This devistated my ex...he went through a very ruff time. I felt so guilty because i was the cause...i began cheating on my boyfriend with him...this has been going on for the past 2 years. My ex has and still tells me that i am his very best friend he cant talk to anyone else but me. I am not a cheater. I never cheated before this...! My ex and i promised eachother that we would grow old together..We still tell eachother that. ABout a month ago...i went to visit him after a happy hour...I knocked at the door...he opened it and there was a girl sitting on his couch. JUst one look and I could see she was pregnant. I was shocked..he never told me any of this! I had just had dinner with him the night before..my intuiotion had been telling me somthing was up...but this. I told her everything...of coursew she did not believe me. Even though he admited to going to dinner with me. I was devistated...The next day he came and asked me to go for a drive with hi. I did.. hewas throwing up and crying telling me how sorry he was. He said he felt trapped. He said that he is so confused because he is still in love with me and doesnt want to loose me in the long run. We both knew we were not ready to be together...but i had no idea he would do this. Especially because we promised eachother we would not have kids with someone else. I have been trying to stay away from him...I am weak when it comes to him..so i have seen him several times since this happened. He kepps promisising me that everything will be ok. That we will be together again one day... please help im going crazy!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 January 2011):
I'm sorry, but your ex has failed you on so many levels that I don't think you can believe a word he says. Every time you've pulled away, it seems like he's come back and then just let you down. And that's all he'll ever really do.
All he enjoys is the control he has over you. He loves the fact that you're cheating. He loves knowing that you'll fall for his rubbish. But he certainly doesn't love you.
If he did, he would never have waited this long, he would have married you, he'd never have accepted you just cheating, and he would never have gotten another woman pregnant.
He has broken every promise he ever made to you, and now you're cheating on a good guy with your poor excuse for an ex.
You need to cut him out of your life as much as you can, or you'll be here in another year explaining how he's gotten yet another woman pregnant or something.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 If he was that serious about you the minute you got with someone else he would have told you he is ready to commit to you and beg for you to finish with your boyfriend and take him back and he certainly wouldnt have got another girl pregnant.
Am sorry to be so blunt but if he wanted you he would have fought to get you and not waited so long and got some other girl pregnant. I really think you need to cut contact with him and move on with your life. I know that it is hard when you love someone and i know its even harder when you have a child together and that he promised you the sun and the stars but you need to grow a back bone and tell him you are not going to be treated this way. He just wants his cake and eats it and you are letting him. Its up to you what you do but you are obviously not with him because he couldnt commit to you and it still sounds like he is not willing to commit to you, he is still keeping things from you. Goodluck as i feel you will need it. I could tell you now to get him out of your life but i have a funny feeling you arent going to listen to me. All the best.
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