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*ave
writes: Hi there's a girl that I really like and before we started going out we were great together. I could be myself which was amazing because I'd never felt that way around a girl before. Now that we are together feels like she doesn't really care about us as say I do. It kinda feels to me that I'm just there, she doesn't really spend too much time with me or contact me. Any would be helpful, I'd be very grateful. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ConcernedMom +, writes (21 August 2005):
Get some professional help. Your GP is a good place to start. See them as soon as possible.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (21 August 2005):
 It seems as if she put more effort into your friendship than your relationship; almost as if she is taking you for granted.
Sometimes it is the case that certain couples are better to stay friends than to embark on a relationship. It has a tendency to complicate things and make people behave perhaps not as naturally as they would normally.
I think you need to talk to your girlfriend and ask her why she doesn't feel so inclined to spend any time with you now. It's best to get it out in the open otherwise you could continue being unhappy and just be left on a string, waiting for her.
Be direct and ask her if she would prefer you remaining friends as you seemed to get on better before. It could be that she feels you have changed as well now but the only way to know is to ask her.
Tell her how you feel and that you would like to be able to spend more time with her but that you don't want to be taken for granted.
Hard though it may be, be aware of the fact that you both maybe better as just friends and this could be what she prefers but let her know how you feel.
Talk to her today.
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reader, irishcurlysue +, writes (21 August 2005):
Hi Cave! It's difficult to make the transition between just being friends with someone and then going out with them. The problem here could be that you're girlfriend is finding it difficult to adjust to your new relationship - perhaps she's finding it difficult to see you in a new light or to understand what is going on with you both now.
The fact that she seems to be keeping away from you at the moment is probably not because she doesn't care, but because she wants time on her own to think about things.
I think you should contact her and ask her to meet up with you so you can both talk about things. Let her know how much you care about her and tell her how you are feeling about things. Hopefully things will become a lot clearer then.
Good luck.
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female
reader, Em +, writes (21 August 2005):
if you havent done so already i would say that the first thing you should do is talk to her about it and explain your feelings on the matter. before you do this however i would think about all the things that made you both such good friends in the first place and try to relight those. if all else fails and you break up, make sure you both leave with the wonderful friendship you had in the first place. i hope that helps x
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (21 August 2005):
 Hi Cave, thing is that this happens sometimes. When people are friends, they think they transition won't be anything to worry about. but sometimes it is. YOu can try talking to her and telling her how you feel. Show her how you see things have changed. That is the best you can do. It makes no sense guessing why things are the way they are...talk to her and find out. That way you know all there is to know. Good Luck..ana
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