A
female
age
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anonymous
writes:i found this great burlesque show to go to, it was mid week and couldnt do it ,found out there were other shows on so thought we could do it on a sat night -better,we did talk about it.i get a call from my boyfriend,he tells me he has asked a friend to come with us as she has just flown in for the week ,on the wed night which he knew i couldnt go to, and even tho i wasnt going he would still go... she is a long time old school pal "girl"..i was shattered,i flared up,looked like the big green monster , but,in my opinion those sort of shows are not like going to see a band,am i being unreasonable in asking for some compassion here from him,as i was upset, i have explained why i was upset, and that i thought it was a special thing for us to do together... or am i really being a silly sensitive green eyed monster that he thinks i am now???be honest please :) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think you have hit the nail on the head there "you wish" he was just being a male & being insensitive
I did actually ask how he would feel if the roles were reversed,he says he would have minded ....but heythats easy to say when you are directly confronted with it!
Unfortunately he is one of those people who find it hard to say sorry,so an appology is not going to happen in this lifetime with him ,he is also one of those guys who in his eyes "is always right " double buggar
Thanks for your inputtho really appreciate it
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 Thanks for the reply. He's being unbelievably insensitive here to you. Your relationship was very serious (engaged), went through a huge bruise (the breakup) and is still very tender. The last thing he should be doing is introducing ANY sort of girl in proximity to your time with him.
You set up the date to the show as a special time for the two of you in order to nurture and heal the relationship, and he became a complete clod and totally was oblivious to everything except "oh, my old friend is in town, and I want to spend time with her but be safe with my girl in tow" and picked the absolute wrong time. Him calling you unreasonable was like pouring salt in your wounds.
Did you ask him how he would feel had your roles been reversed? Maybe you should stop suggesting things to do with him and dig up an ex from your past!
I'm kidding. :P You're too grown up for games. But seriously, decide whether or not this guy is worth your time and energy. Unless he sees where he was wrong and sincerely apologizes. I don't think he meant to cheat on you. He was just being the worst kind of obtuse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was engaged to him,but about 8 months ago we broke up ,neither of us has been with anyone else.
We have just got officially back together again about 4 weeks ago,we dont live together.
Thank you for your responses it is great to get another person outside of the pictures views.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 You could not go and maybe that old pal may be flying back soon and may missed this chance.
Maybe, he thought that you would not mind or he could have made an alternative plan to watch it with you when you are free.
There is nothing going on between them and you should not make it a very big issue. Try to see it from his perspective.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 June 2010):
No, I'd be mad. This was your idea, for you and your boyfriend. Not a third party, and certainly not an old female school friend.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 June 2010):
Hmm...you didn't tell us of your relationship status with this guy. Are you dating for the first time? Committed? Engaged? Living together? Friends with benefits??
The answer to that question is the answer to whether or not you're being reasonable. :)
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