A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 16 year old boy, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for just over 5months, at the start of the relationship (first month or two) we had sex afew times, we were both eachothers firsts but as times gone on we have not had sex at all for the past 3 months and I'm not sure why, because I was her first it has obviously hurt the times we have had sex but is that the only reason why we have stopped or could there be other reasons? We never planned having sex it always just came about so we never really talk about it much so I'd feel awkward asking why, any help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 May 2013):
 If you want to know what she is thinking or feeling then the best person to ask is your girlfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAgain, I have not said I miss having sex I would just like possible reasons to why we may have stopped, I have thought about it and maybe she feels to comfortable in the relationship to be wanting to constantly have sex (which doesn't bother me, our relationship isn't based on sex) but I do believe the sex still hurts and that could be a possible reason why we do not do it as often
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou do not understand the situation firstly we are legally allowed to have sex, giving us the right to decide whether we want to or not which we already decided at the start of our relationship secondly the pregnancy isn't an issue we have always used contraception and even in small chance she does become pregnant we would abort the baby because we are too young and could not provide, we both agreed it would be extreamyl hard to do but that's what would happen in that situation, she has also told me she is getting the implant so pregnancy not the issue, thirdly I love my girlfriend we have been bestfriends for half a year before becoming a couple, I take her everywhere, introduce her to family, sit in and watch films and never once think about sex I just want other possible reasons to why we don't do it as often, instead of having my relationship criticsed by people who know barley anything about it
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): I haven't jumped to conclusions. I know the consequences.
I also know how difficult it is for educated adults to deal with the responsibility of caring for an unplanned child.
I also know that you would have the easier side of the issue; because it would not be you who would have to carry a child in a body that isn't fully developed physically.
It is a difficult challenge for adults to raise a child, when two children aren't emotionally developed or mature enough to handle such a profound responsibility as a small life.
Your post is about why she stopped having sex with you. Do you care if she still likes you or not? Do you even like her? Or is it just about the sex?
Maybe that's why she stopped. She realized that's all you care about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe would not feel cheapened by it because firstly she Instigated it, we were best friends for half a year before we became a couple, we both wanted to have sex in the first place and we use protection so she will not get pregnant we have already spoke about the consequences if she was to become pregnant, I think wiseowle should consider that we do use protection instead of jumping to conclusions
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): First of all, she could get pregnant. She was experimenting and you have to be responsible when it comes to sex. You're a boy, and you will easily get greedy. She wants it to mean something. Not just be someone you come to for sex.
You're too young to be taking on such a responsibility. She would be a teenage mom. She could lose all her hopes and dreams and you'll just walk away like nothing ever happened. You won't have to carry a child inside of you for 9 months; or have to face her disappointed parents everyday. She will also have to make a decision to keep a baby or put it up for adoption, or something else.
You can't support yourself, let alone a 16 year-old mom and a baby. No pity for you young man.
You should be thinking about other ways of having fun with your girlfriend. She is obviously smarter than you. She realizes that sex isn't something kids your age should be messing around with; without protection (a condom) or being old enough to handle the consequences of a pregnancy.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (11 May 2013):
Unfortunately you can’t be helped unless you try to get over that awkwardness because if you’re going to try and find out what’s going on there’s going to have to be a conversation between you both. Let’s look at what isn’t clear from this post: are you trying to initiate sex, or requesting sex and she’s saying no? Do you know that she doesn’t want to have sex, or could she be thinking that it’s you who’s not interested? Do you know how she found the experience of having sex when you did it? Do you both want to have sex with each other again? Could one of you think it happened too soon and you weren’t ready? (it was early on in your relationship and you’re both young).
When you talk, explain to her that you were thinking about the fact that you both haven’t had sex for a while, and you realised you’d never talked about it, and just ask her what are her feelings about sex now and how did she feel when it happened? Listen to what she says and contribute your own thoughts. See how it goes.
I wish you all the very best.
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