A
female
age
36-40,
*4fallenangel
writes:Ok so I have joined a dating site, i got talking to a guy on it and we really seemed to have a lot in common, we swapped numbers and were texting the whole time. he lives an hour away and doesnt have a car so we were dying to meet eachother but we have to wait a few weeks. Anyway he started calling me and we talked for hours then the weekend before last i heard noting for a few days, turned out he was in a car accident, the driver his friend was in a coma, he was blaming himself and i spent alot of my time talking to him and suggested i would come up and meet him and try and take his mind off it but he said he was in pretty bad shape and wanted to make a good impression when he met me. Then on saturday i got a call from him his friends life support had been turned off, the family were blaming him and he was blaming himself. he had wanted to talk to me and no-one else. i did my best to comfort him but i had to go as we had visitor i said as soon as they were gone id call him. So they left and i texted him to see if he wanted me to call him, he told me that his friend was setting him up on a blind date to cheer him up. i asked if he was going and he said he didnt know he mite. All i could say was o rite. I wanted to say Id rather you didnt but i had no right. So anyway at midnight I sent him a message wishing him a happy birthday and that i was here for him if he needed to talk. he said thanks your a great friend, that was like being hit by a bus, so i asked if he had gone on the blind date he said ya it was great and they were going to the niteclub. i asked if that meant he was going to start dating her and he said it was looking likely, tat he was sorry and wanted to be friends. there was alot of texting back and forth i told him i was glad he was happy but i wish had waited that i was really hurt over it. I am devestated, i know i hadnt met him so its silly and i am shocked by how badly this hurts i havent stopped crying in the last 3 days, i have been trying not to contact him i havent heard from him so obviously he doesnt care. Just he told me he was mine that even though we hadnt met he wanted to be wit me, he would be loyal and he couldnt wait to meet. we had so much in common now im left broken hearted and terrible and all as it is i dont want things to work out for him. I want to contact him but wats the point, i just dont know wat to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): Try not to give too much until you know a person is worth it. And that means seeing them in real life.
A
female
reader, 24fallenangel +, writes (28 February 2011):
24fallenangel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for replying, thing is distance wasnt an issue he has friends down here and he is only an hour away. and he wanted a long term relationship its one of the things he said to me first
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): I have learned with online dating that the best thing to do is swap just a few emails back and forth and then meet up before you decide to get attached. The point is to get dates, not develop a virtual relationship. Say the guy wants to go on and on through email and text? That's a bad sign..he's a time waster and someone who isn't too serious about finding someone. You'll save alot of time and heartache by eliminating these guys unless you are looking for online friends!
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A
female
reader, JDinCali  +, writes (28 February 2011):
 I'm sorry you're hurting over this guy. You really worked hard to prove to him you'd be there. Maybe it was the distance, something you said, ...who knows, only he does. However it could be that he's looking out for your best interest; considering the aftermath of his car accident is causing him to be conflicted with guilt. Seems he just wants to be a party boy for a while, to get over what's happened. You deserve better, a party boy isn't suitable relationship material. Try not to take it so hard, he can't be the man you need him to be at the moment. You're a good person and there's lots of guys in the world.
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