A
female
age
36-40,
*itch-fire
writes:heya,I've been chatting to an old friend recently and found out that we've had sexual feelings about each other for quite a while now. We've agreed that when he comes to visit me we'll have some fun. The only thing is I havn't told him I'm a virgin coz I didn't think it was important nd got so involving with sexy messaging that I felt experienced. Should I tell him? I know the sitution and know there's no romantic feelings it is just sex- I've just wnted him for a long time, so I understand the situation with him, but should I tell him I'm a virgin? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, witch-fire +, writes (20 October 2010):
witch-fire is verified as being by the original poster of the question Just told him. Thank God! He's ok with it. Thank you guys x
A
female
reader, witch-fire +, writes (20 October 2010):
witch-fire is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't think I'm doing this for the wrong reason- not once have I mentioned that I'm sick of being a virgin. I want to do this for reasons that make sense to me.
Thanks for the advise Ven and trancedrhythmear. I will tell him.
Besides me and him actually having sex is a long time away- he lives in Denmark, so need to find a time that works for me and him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): No need to attach emotions to it and as long you have no feelings for the guy, I d say go for it as long as it makes sense for u to have sex right now and you feel good about it. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (20 October 2010):
I agree with "bernard": you are doing this for the wrong reasons, and may experience disappointment or regret as a result. (And, when you DO meet your life-partner, it may bother HIM that you did this!)
For the record: You REALLY need to let him know! And, if you are really ready for this, you will find a way to let him know.
If he's truly a good choice for your first sex partner then it WILL matter to him - and it will matter in a very special and significant way. He may have already guessed the situation, but you need to confirm it to him.
He will take special care to make sure you are physiologically ready for intercourse. I hope that you already have some experience with other sexual activities, such as exploring each other's bodies and learning each other's orgasm response before you try penetrative intercourse.
(Look at my answer to the question "When I lose my virginity to my boyfriend I don't just want to lay there and not know what to do!" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/when-i-lose-my-virginity-to-my-boyfriend.html . In fact, maybe you should "tell" your B/F about your virginity by printing that thread, and giving it to him or putting it where he (and ONLY he!) will find it.)
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (20 October 2010):
It's a privilege to be the first : it should turn him on so tell him . [ And enjoy the sex - have some lube handy in case you need it and ask him to try and take his time. ]
Report back to us on how it was.
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A
male
reader, Ven +, writes (20 October 2010):
Yes Witch-Fire, you need to tell him. First-time sex for a female can be moderately painful, and it will be a much better experience for you if he is aware and can adjust what he is doing to your needs.
And don't worry: I don't think I've ever come across a guy who thought virginity was a turn-off. In general guys like it because expectations are so low.
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