A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I were talking about having a 3 some. The problem is, I'm not comfortable with him being inside another woman, and he is not comfortable having a guy involved in any way.. I thought about just having a 4 some to make it even but then we would both have what we dont want..He says its not a 3 some if he can't actually have sex with the other girl, which I understand and agree with, but as stated before I'm not comfortable with it, and hes not comfortable with me having another guy (or a guy involved at all)..I don't know if there's any solution to this..what do you think? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 June 2010):
Don't even bother thinking about doing it. It will go wrong.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Simple solution: don't do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): If neither of you compromise then it obviously won't work, if tour going to have 2 guys then he has a right to try 2 women visa versa but if your both jelous types which you sound like then it won't work. Also your basically both saying "I want to have sex with another person but I don't want you to"
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (29 June 2010):
 I'd recommend against it entirely. I had a threesome with a past girlfriend and I never looked at her the same way again. If you are in a loving/committed relationship, I'd recommend against it entirely. It may be fun while it happens, but the aftermath won't be, I can almost guarantee that.
Also, TimmD seems pretty right on in his analysis from where I sit.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): You've already answered your own question when you said neither of you are comfortable with your options. Engaging in a threesome with your partner is very risky for your relationship. There's a big chance of someone's feelings getting hurt or a misunderstanding or miscommunication that will lead to a huge fight. All three people involved have to be very comfortable with one another and clear about the rules and boundaries for everyone.
It sounds to me like both your goals are in direct conflict with the other's insecurities. I wouldn't advise intiating a threesome at all and instead find some other kinky way for you two to spice up the bedroom.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (29 June 2010):
 The reason he wants a threesome is so he can have sex with another woman with your consent.
You want a threesome so you can have another guy in the mix..
It doesn't sound like either of you want the other to be with anybody else but one another.
So? You two don't really want a threesome. You just want to have sex with other people. This is bad for a relationship.
For a threesome to work at all at least one of the partners needs to WANT to see the other pleasured by someone else other then them. You two are 100% NOT that.
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