A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, i need some advice, its a quite complicated situation so bear with me.i met my fiance 2yrs ago, ever since we got 2gether things have been rocky. no matter what i find out about him he worms his way out of it, he turns it on me, making out its my fault or makes me feel bad. i no hes metally and emotionally abusing me. i just dont know what to do.he gave me chlamydia twice, he said first time was from his ex, the 2nd he threw up the antibiotics from first time so it didnt cure it. i went on his email and found folder after folder of dating websites, he said some-one hacked his msn, i found texts on his phone from my so called friend, flirtin with each other, saying they are going to meet up for sex etc, he said he was winding her up cus he new she fancied him. i found other txts frm his phone, from a girl saying "are we meeting later, bring condoms ok" he said she wouldnt leave him alone and just went along with it. i found a phone (not his usual phone) that he used to phone this girl and his ex) i found this phone 6months after the texts. he denied it and said it was a really old phone. when i found this phone i text this girl and she said something about a msn address of his that i didnt know about, he denies this.we have a 6month old son 2gether and we live 2gether, i found these texts 2days after i moved in with him and was 5months pregnant. iv lost all my friends, some iv just lost touch with, others have taken my ex mates side, and my family dont seem bothered about me, my mum wouldnt look after my son because she was going out drinkin and couldnt be late! she said "by time u get back home and then i got back home, itll be time for me to go out and i wouldnt have time to eat" so shes picking drinkin over spending time with her grandson?what can i do to make things right? he says to me "if i didnt want you or love you i wouldnt be here now" and then makes me feel bad by saying "why do you always have to start an argument and believe everyone else" "you dont love me do you? you never have, u just used me to have a baby" etc. i feel so fat and ugly. i feel like im that ugly he has to go and chat up other girls, im so depressed and low in self confidence. am i just that ugly? is it something im doing wrong? i just want a husband, children and a nice life! i cant look after my son on my own! my son is a very attention seeking baby and needs attention otherwise he screams! i dont think i could cope on my own :(
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condom, confidence, depressed, fiance, flirt, his ex, moved in, msn, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): i am not the right person too assume he cheats i dont know for sure but some of those things are pretty bad.
what i do know is dont you even dare start to think your ugly because he may cheat or chat up girls. my fiance got cheated on massivly by her ex and now she has trust issues, extreme insecurites, body image issues and low self esteem. DO NOT LET HIM MAKE YOU FEEL THAT WAY
tell him hes actions are making you feel this way and if he loves you he will stop.
And if he is cheating remmebr hes the asshole, dont put yourself down its his loss.
A
female
reader, QZ  +, writes (29 June 2010):
 To speak candidly, he's cheating on you because he's a douche. He doesn't care for you at all, and probably gets off on the fact that he can treat you like crap and get away with it. You owe it to yourself and your son to leave this man and find someone else who'll actually take care of you. Don't think it's your fault he's cheating: it's all about him in this relationship I bet, and there's no room for you to be happy. Get out of this relationship ASAP, and look for someone who WON'T give you STDS due to his cheating.
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