A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 6 years now, and I love her deeply.She has always gotten a lot of upper lip hair, but she usually will wax it over time. Now however, she said she's done waxing and doesn't feel like she needs to. I know this may sound shallow, but this is my ONE major turnoff. I tried talking to her about it gently (offering her to bring her to a spa, etc) but she refuses, and tells me "you'll get over it". Problem is, I can't, and won't. It's been months now, and I rarely kiss her anymore, because I don't have any desire. It's been seriously putting a damper on the relationship, and I'm not sure what to do at this point, if anything. I think she feels like I should accept her with all her flaws which i do, but I'm simply not attracted to her anymore. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): it's pretty selfish of her to refuse doing it. Now when you're young it'a only a hairy lip, when you get older there will be all kind of physical issues that you will guys have.
Men grow hair on ears and nose,
woman grow hair on their chins
Weight gain, muscles become weaker and start to hang, wrinkles, bad breath, loosing hair,brain doesn't work as well, memory is not as strong, hearing becomes weak.
Me and my husband are middleage. I am in my 40's, he is early 50's. we both look physically attractive only because we take care of it
Exsercise, eat right, hobbies and of-course taking care of that unwanted hair. we do it for each other and for ourselves.
There was a strugle in convincing my husband to take constant care of his ear and nose hair, make him go to GYM, eat right. It was work. I would tell him straight that it's a turn off for me to see his protruding belly and so on.
If your girlfriend is displaying indifference to her apearance and your opinion, it's time to stop being delicate, but become straightforward.
There is no need to insult her, pick words that are loving, but be firm on this.
Your question even shows how much you care for her. just tell her exactly what you said here;"I love you, but this is a turn off for me, i need you to take care of this" Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): Hi there,I know how you feel mate, my ex partner which I was in a 3 year relationship with had a fair amount of upper lip hair. From about a meter away you could see she pretty much had a moustache. Worse thing was though.....she didn't even think she had facial hair! If i mentioned it she would get stroppy and say there was barely anything there.Obviously attraction is an important part of a relationship. I mean, you have been with this girl for 6 years so you must care for her; but its funny how the little things in life can have a large impact on your relationship.The way I see it you have three choices.1. Talk to her about how much it bothers you in as nice a way as possible, and hope she does something about it (I know this sounds shallow, but she should want to look nice for you and turn you on, as you should for her). 2. If she doesn't do anything about it you can choose to live with it, however if you hate it that much it could cause other problems - like impacting on your sex life.3. Leave her, as ridiculous as it sounds to leave someone ovr this, however if its getting to the point where you don't even want to kiss her, it will most likely start a chain reaction to the eventual end of your relationship.For example, she keeps the hair, you rarely start to kiss her, romantic moments become far and few in between, sex becomes less and less enjoyable as you don't find her attractive, and she knows you don't, therefore she doesn't feel sexy. You then have sex together significantly less, both of you become frustrated and emotionally detached. One of you may start looking elsewhere and could eventually lead to cheating (ie her finding someone who accepts who she is or you finding someone your attracted to.)I know that may sound ridiculous but its funny how many times the cause of a failed relationship can be traced back to trivial things. At the end of the day, little things make up your life.Ultimately it comes down to how much you love this girl against how much the facial hair bothers you. If its stopping you from feeling ANY attraction towards her and your not treating her properly, probably best to move on if she won't get rid of it.If you can handle it and love her enough to get past it (love is blind as they say) stay together.Some people may tell you to get over yourself and deal with it, but it should be remembered that certain things get at some people more than others, its like I cannot deal with fat, I simply would not be able to become aroused.Good luck dude and hope all goes well, hope my long ramblings are of some assistance!
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (19 September 2009):
 You're definitely not accepting her for all her flaws, otherwise this wouldn't be such a big issue for you. Many women have facial hair, it's not exactly uncommon.
I understand there are things we sometimes have a hard time getting past, but they shouldn't dominate your feelings for someone. If you don't want to end the relationship, I suggest just dealing with it. Focus more on how you feel for your girlfriend and what you enjoy about being with her, rather than her appearance. Do you really want something like that to be the reason you two broke up?
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A
female
reader, keepitreal03  +, writes (19 September 2009):
Tell her look its turning me off and makes me not wanna kiss u. And I can't do it no more so wax it or there will be no sex no kisses nothing!! Tell her its serious to u make sure it gets through her head. Sometimes we blow it off not taking u guys serious so u must sit her down and be hard on her! If she still doesn't listen then......I think u should reach out to her mom or someone else maybe then she will listen
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