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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi,I have been with my current girlfriend since around November/December and we contacted each other daily, spending all our credit on each other. Recently though she seems to be ignoring my texts and only replying every 3 or 4 days when I text her daily just to see how she is and what she's been up to. I'm getting a little worried that's she's just put put to the back of her mind and "forgotten". I'm getting a bit worried as I really am in love with her and want to stay with her.Do you think I should text again tomorrow (17/1) or wait for her to text me?Thanx,Peter
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): Thanx again for helping out. I forgot to mention that I usually just send one at night saying something along the lines of "Hope you ha d a good day. Sleep well and sweet dreams" mainly to give her something to sleep on and let her know that I'm thinking of her.
I sometimes send one in the morning but not always. I don't obsessively post 5 a day with no replies.
But, yeah, I like her to know I'm thinking of her each night by doing the above.
Thanx,
Pete =]
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): I'm the poster who gave you the example of my own friend.
I echo Irish here: good for you. As I said earlier, if you can be more relaxed you'll do much better. I forgot to add in addition to daily activities, you both have friends and a social life, LOL, which you sometimes engage in together, but other times, you want to socialize with your friends, just you and them, and she with hers.......
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A
female
reader, Daysie  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Couple of suggestions, arrange to meet her instead and have some quality time together, or try emailing as it's even cheaper! I wouldn't let it bother you too much, if you leave more time between texts then you may have more to discuss. If she wants to progress with the relationship then don't be too eager or start obsessing. There is more to a relationship than texting. Maybe next time you chat, casually mention that an old female friend has been contating you by text and how much you enjoy that! She may then get worried that she has competition! Best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Good for you, Pete. There are females that love daily texts and some gals, that still like them but don't always have the time to reply. My partner phones me 2 times a day but he knows I am usually too busy to call him, first. He doesn't mind,in the least bit. But I can tell you, I absolutely love it when he calls. Your gf sounds like an independant girl, who doesn't depend on daily messages. Be thankful, she's not teh the cling-on, here. lol What is happening here, is your 'expectations of what you want from her' is causing the issue in your mind. This is your problem, not hers. I know you love her a lot, just keep sending her nice, love messages every 2nd day, without expecting anything in return. Even if she doesn't reply...hey, I bet you made her smile when she read it. Good luck and just enjoy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Thanx for all your help. It's been very, VERY helpful. (The wonders of the internet)
I have a tendency to over-react at times without realising.
I didn't think that daily txting would be rather clingy. I'll take your advice and lay back a bit, let her get on with her stuff.
I guess I'm like this because she's the first girl I've been with and felt like this to.
Thanx,
Pete
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Peter,I would not necessarily conclude that her interest has lessened, if I were you. So long as she does respond, and seems happy to hear from you.Thing is, every day is a little much. You have your own life and things to do - work/school, laundry, shopping, reading, etc., and so does she. If you are in touch 24/7 it is possible to "burn out" your welcome, and you don't want to do that. Give her a little time to text you first.My friend is long-distance and we email/IM anywhere from once a week to two-three times - I'm retired, but stay pretty busy; he works full-time, and did have a little more free time when spending Christmas/New Year with his grown children, so we exchanged a lot of emails. But vacations - as I know well, when you return there is a LOT to catch up on, and he let me know (I didn't ask) that that was the case, and that was why "no emails"; he didn't want me to worry......even so, we IM-ed within the week.....(I know this because when my email was shut off for a week before Christmas he panicked when he didn't hear from me, LOL).I tell you this to encourage you not to worry and to be a little more flexible. If you don't hear from her after, say, a week, then you can get in touch and ask what's going on. Meantime, if you can be a little more relaxed about it, you'll be better off, because you won't be fretting!Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Peter,
I think texting daily can be a bit much. Remember, you have a life and so does she. Being in touch 24/7 is not a good idea - you can both "wear out your welcome" as it were.
In my case, the man I'm in contact with (its long-distance) we email or talk on IM & webcam two-three times a week. I'm retired (but stay busy with social activities, volunteering, etc.) whereas he works full time. I didn't check email for FIVE days before Christmas, busy getting ready for guests, and when I did he had written in a bit of a panic, haven't heard from you, have I offended you, sort of thing, and naturally I responded right away to let him know what was going on. He was spending Christmas & New Year with his son, and not working, so had access to his son's computer, and we emailed almost daily, sometimes more than once a day. On his return he sent a short note to let me know he was extremely busy, thus no emails.......I thought he WOULD have a lot to catch up on, and he didn't want me to worry. Of course, we have IM-ed within the week.
I'm telling you this so YOU won't worry. To be a little flexible and recognize that people do have agendas and all kinds of things they need to do. So long as she does respond when you text, I would not assume her interest has necessarily lessened......it won't hurt anything if you drop back to every 2-3 days. Give her an opportunity to initiate contact. Then, if you don't hear for, say, a week, you could ask her directly......good luck!
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Well, she's obviously backing off a little, as texting every day is rather clingy and possessive, considering you have only been going out for just over a month. I would leave it a few days until you text her again. If she really likes you, she will text or phone you soon enough. Sometimes, less is more...how can she have time to miss you or wonder about what you're up to if you are constantly texting her. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (16 January 2007):
 wait for her to text you. it sounds like your making yourself too available to her, if you dont text her for a couple of days she'll wonder what your up to and she'll be back. its human nature to want what you cant have so if you cool off a little bit and keep busy she'll wonder what you are up to and why you havent text her so she'll be back in touch. x x
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 I think you might wait until she contacts you. It sounds like she may be backing off a little. . . for who knows what reason. Women. . . you can't live with them, and you can't live with them. LOL.
If she's too busy to text you, then, she's too busy for you to waste your time on her. Give her some space and see what happens. In the mean time, go out and enjoy yourself.
Life's too short to be wrapped up with people who don't give a rat's ass.
Good luck!
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