A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my boyfriend for close to 6 months now, and before that we were very good friends for quite some time.Now that we're dating all we ever seem to do is argue, and although I do truly care about him, I know this is not the person I want. We want very different futures and our personalities just don't seem to click. So how do I break up with him nicely? Without hurting him? I know that's kind of inevitable.. but what's the best way? Please help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 February 2010):
He isn't the person and you have different ideas, so well done for seeing that it won't work. The only way to break up is to sit down with him and just tell him that it's over. It will hurt him, but you need to do it. There is never an easy way. Do it face to face, and be calm and short about it. Just tell him that after a lot of thought, you feel it would be better to break up as you both are totally different people and it won't work out.
A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova)  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 I was in a relationship like this for 6 years that became extremely psychologically abusive. Eventually he cheated on me, put me in the hospital and I nearly died. To top it off, while I was there he continued cheating on me, didn't tell anyone (friends or family) that I was in the hospital in a coma, and threw me out of my own house with nowhere to go after making me walk home when I was released. I lost my job, my home, and all of my money picking up the pieces.
This can only go poorly if you try and force it to work. Trying hard generally goes unappreciated or unnoticed. If you know now that you want out- all I can say is that there is no way to do it without hurting him. I would simply explain that you feel like eventually being together will hurt him as much as you've found that it hurts you- when he could rebuild something happier with someone else. It feels horrible to hurt someone- but it hurts to be the one to end it, too.
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