A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend, we`ve been together for about 20 months now and + he is the best and most sweetest guy I have ever know. The problem though, is not him, it`s me. I have very strong feelings for this other guy. This other guy has a girlfriend also. I don't know if he likes me, but a couple months ago he texted me telling me that he misses me and he loves me and what not. He wanted me to break up with my boyfriend to be with him, but I told him that I couldn't break up with my boyfriend to be with him, even though I had strong feelings for him too. We never talked back to eachother since. Couple weeks ago, I heard that he was telling his girlfriend that I'm a whore. I don't know if it's true or not, but I kind of believe that it is true because about one year ago, I went with him to the movies and I kissed him, even though I had a boyfriend so I don't know why he wouldn't think I'm a whore. But now, I feel heartbroken and shattered. I can't tell anyone because I'm afraid of what they'll think of me. This guy is known to be a man whore, but when I talk to him, he seems so honest to me. I don't know man. I'm constantly thinking about him, even more than my boyfriend.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 February 2010):
You're not a whore. This other guy is just using that because he liked you, you turned him down and like an immature loser he couldn't take it. It's just an insult he's using because he knows it will get to you. You're not a whore.
HOWEVER. You did kiss him whilst you were with your boyfriend, and that shows that there are issues. The problem is that though your boyfriend is a very nice sweet guy, he clearly isn't the one for you, or you would not have kissed this other guy or felt anything for him. I think you need to sit down and really think about what it is you want.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Honestly you are making huge mistakes here.
Lets face the facts, you arnt happy with your bf are you, sure hes sweet and nice.
But he just isnt sparking with you, and he never will. Let him go, he deserves to be with someone who will appreciate him, you dont. Let him go you will just make yourself and him miserable.
As for guy no 2 he is a selfish player who only cares about what he wants, if you go with him soon you will be the one being cheated on. So get rid of him now! I mean it cut all contact.
You need sometime alone to reassess your life and what you want out of a relationship. So be the single girl for a while and when you are ready, then you can be with a guy who will be right for you.
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A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova)  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 You're not a whore. This is completely evidence that you have a confusing infatuation for someone who is a complete jerk. In worrying that you may have told his girlfriend about the kiss, he made it seem like it was your fault, and backed up his justification by trying to make you look bad.
This guy you can't stop thinking about is a jerk, and you shouldn't need a microscope to see it. If he had genuine care for you (romantic, or even just as friends) he would never say those things about you.
HOWEVER (and this is important) if you're conflicted about your feelings enough to have feelings for someone else, it may be time to consider cooling it on your relationship with your actual boyfriend until you have some clarity about what you want. I firmly believe that there might be something missing for you, even if it's nothing to do with wanting to date other guys. If you care about your boyfriend, you should take the time to stand back and evaluate why you're not feeling fulfilled.
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