A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I can't have her but I can't stop thinking about her. We had a friendship that turned sexual over the summer. It was wrong and crazy fun at the same time. It was something I never thought I would do, and I fought my feeling for as long as I could. She is married- not happily and I know her husband is a complete jerk, she kicked him out, but had to take him back because he had no where to go after he couldn't pay rent- he is the father of her children and has a violent drinking problem. I really loved talking to her and would do so for hours on the phone. She just made me feel good. We would laugh and share things that I never shared with anyone before. We stopped our affair because others began questioning our relationship... but Neither of us wanted to stop. Now whenever I see her she acts the same as before we had sex. She says funny things and it is like we are where we were before the affair, but I know it is wrong and it confuses me. She still texts me almost once a week with just something silly or asking how I am. I of course text back, but know I shouldn't. I can't help myself but a part of me really wants to go with it again. Is she really just ok with being my friend? Did she ever have more feelings for me? Is she contacting me because she still wants me too? Should I just stop responding to her and put it all behind me?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 February 2010):
I always have a motto about people who don't leave their partners, then stop the affair and go back to the partner. They didn't love you in the first place, and you were nothing but an emotional rock. She used you to solve the problems with her marriage. She didn't have to take him back once she had thrown him out if he is a violent drunk. She didn't. It wasn't her problem. But she took him back. Why? Because she wants him, not you. She just wants you there as the emotional rock, and that's not fair. Stop responding and move on from her. You can meet a woman who is single and will love you.
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