A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend's past is not even that bad. She had two ex BFs and only one she had sex with. She says the sex is a lot better with me (i'm her second). However after her second Bf, she had a "fling" whom she knew for a while. They did stuff and she said he was incredibly good looking and what not. They did not have sex but did everything else. Its just on my mind for some reason :S. I dont know if its because she said hes good looking or because they weren't dating or what. She didn't even have sex with him. I don't understand why I'm stressing so much. There is also no issue of me thinking she'll cheat or anything. I know she wants to be with me. So I don't know what it is. She only gave him a blowjob. AHHHH it kills me to even write that. It's just bothersome. Will this feeling go away? I mean I read some forums and there are guys complaining of their girlfriends having 10+ partners and having one night stands and what not so I should feel LUCKY to only be dealing with this. But it still bothers me at the moment. Will this feeling subside? Is it not a big deal? Thanks for any input.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): If this website is any indication, there's a good chance this will still bother you just as much decades from now.
The idea that people get over retroactive jealousy is mostly a myth. Most people don't ever stop emotionally hurting over it, they just learn to stop talking about it because the endless discussion does not help anything.
Sorry to be a downer. But I'm just giving you the truth. The sunny P.C. advice that you can expect to "just get over it in the future" is what is helping keep this painful chronic problem hidden in shame.
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 It is a little insensitive of her to sing this guy's praises BUT this discomfort over previous lovers is a process that most men have to go through when they find that they love a girl. It will subside.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): Hey, what you're feeling is entirely natural. What you need to do is make sure you don't ask her details about her past. The more she tells you, the worse it will feel, no matter how innocent it is. I think you can see this with feeling so much problems with her sucking a guy off.
Tell her that you totally accept the past, it's all cool, and that you don't want either of you to bring it up again. That way, she won't feel judged, meaning she'll stay totally in to you.
And if you can do this, with time, the past should settle in to the past and you'll stop thinking about it. Give it time. Enjoy having your relationship and if she's the one, it will sort itself out. Good luck buddy.
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