A
female
age
26-29,
*97x
writes:For the past two years ive been sort of sexting/sending the odd nude to this guy. Recently though he's gotten into a relationship, however we have still continued sexting etc. We've never slept together its strictly 'cyber'. A few weeks ago (I don't know why I did it) after stalking his gf I sent her screen shots of out messages. He told her about it before she had chance to see the messages and she deleted my message request. He told me he felt hurt about what I did because we were 'friends', but the only times he would talk to me was when he wanted nudes or to sext. He even told me he only talked to me because he was bored and lonely. I don't know what to do, we still sext and talk from time to time but I feel like a fool. I don't know how to let him go and move on, I feel compelled to talk to him. When I don't talk to him I think about him constantly, im 20 and feel like ive passed the phase of stupid crushes. I know I dont want a relationship with him but I crave his attention. I know I can't compete his his gf (he describes her as the 'love of his life' and his 'bestfriend') but I still crave intermacy from him. Am I a fool? How do I get over this obsession(?) ?
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crush, has a girlfriend, move on, stalking Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 November 2017):
 Is that how low your expectations are OP? Some sexual cyber attention from a guy and you willingly send him nude pictures? You tried to be spiteful and hurt his girlfriend, imagine if he was spiteful and posted all your nudes on the internet, that kind off thing can ruin you. You need to block this guys number get higher standards and be kinder to yourself. You don't need his kind off attention.
A
female
reader, Sue beesue  +, writes (23 November 2017):
Honey, listen very carefully as I have been on both sides of your coin. As far as getting over him I must say you need to take a broader look at your life before now. There is something in it that causes you to feel this is how you must be. It is a learned reaction that you will need to retain your brain to a better reaction. For example this is how I did it. First write both him and get GOOD BYE LETTERS. But honest be bold be hurt and be strong. Now DON'T send them. Take them some where meaningful to only you not you both and let them go. What I did was a stream, crumpled it up threw up stream and as it floated past say good bye continue to do so until you can no longer see then. At that point you turn away and LET IT GO. Now with sexting you must stop immediately. Block his number right now cause here is what will happen. He will be upset one day out BOARD and turn to you. Only to crush you and make you feel all the hurt you feel right now. Except each time it happens that hurt gets worse took it consumes you and makes you hate yourself. You are better then what he is doing to you. Let him go so you cab find someone who rocks your world and shows you daily just how special you are to him
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (21 November 2017):
 I'm glad you took them as they were meant: a reality check, not nastiness.
You can do it, OP. Be glad you've (hopefully) learnt from this at such a young age, not found yourself doing it 10+ years from now. To see who you could become, if you don't learn from it, just search the affair tags or even on the main page now, as there is a man who is in his 40s and trying to fool himself into believing he's happy in a 7 year affair. That could be you and you know you want more.
Take a break from guys, heal from this and try again with single guys in 6 months :)
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A
female
reader, M97x +, writes (20 November 2017):
M97x is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThese replies.. ouch. Truth hurts but youre all right, I need to burn my bridge and move on.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (20 November 2017):
Also, OP, take a good look at yourself. You spitefully tried to hurt an innocent person and it backfired. His girlfriend has done nothing to you - YOU are the one being cruel by sexting with her boyfriend.
You will only deserve better when you stop trying to steal someone else's boyfriend, who isn't even worth having!
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (19 November 2017):
This guy has a girlfriend and the only time he communicates with you is to get nude photos from you. And then you tried to hurt his girlfriend - who has done nothing to you - by sending her the messages you've shared with this fellow.
So, to answer your two questions: Yes, you are a fool. You get over this by finding someone new who will pay you the attention you crave.
You really need to be approaching life with more self-respect. Picking crappy guys like you have here is a sure road to unhappiness. This guy has totally played you. It is better to be single.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 November 2017):
 Yes, you are a fool for thinking you NEED attention from him.
BLOCK him and delete his number. If you REALLY want to be high speed wish his well first THEN block/delete.
If you DID at some point in time get to date a guy would you be OK with him "sexting" another girl? My guess is no. So WHY is it OK for you to keep doing this with a guy who has a GF?
He is a skeevy guy who is USING you for entertainment. The MOMENT his GF finds out he will 1. put the blame on you 2. drop you like a hot potato. So it's NOT that you mean anything to him. So WHY use him and USE yourself for something so low?
It's time to grow up and take responsibility for YOUR actions. What you are doing is not OK (what he is doing is even worse but we are not talking to him...)
You are "selling" yourself short.
PUT your phone down and go out and make REAL friends. Friends who don't have expectations of you sending them nudes or sexting with them. You know? REAL friends?
You are 20 and wasting your life and time on a guy who is a piece of crap. Set your bar a LOT higher.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 November 2017):
He's a cheater. You're a cyber misstress.
You block him and never speak to him again. It really is that simple. It's not emotionally easy, but it is that simple. Once you block him, WITHOUT a goodbye (or he'll try to persuade you to keep sexting), you never go back on it.
It's also incredibly unwise to send nudes, especially to people you aren't in a committed relationship with.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2017): FGS why do you need to even talk to someone like him? He is a player and a cheater. He is cheating on you and on his gf. Sending him nude pictures was a huge mistake. I hope those pictures are not being circulated on the internet by him. Severe any contact with him, block him from your phone and your life. Make new friends and dont ever send nude picture to anyone anymore.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (19 November 2017):
 I find this sort of post very sad. Why, in this day and age, when so many young people come across as so self assured and confident of their own worth, are there so many who are so desperate for any scrap of attention someone will throw their way that they will degrade themselves to get it?
You get over this, my darling, by acknowledging that this guy is just not into you. He has been brutally honest and told you he only contacts you when he is bored. Why do you not think you are worth any better? I mean, he is cheating on someone who he calls the love of his life, so why do you expect decent behaviour from him? You have to feel sorry for his girlfriend.
In your shoes I would block him on everything, then shake myself down and concentrate on widening my circle of friends so that I could meet someone who deserved me. This guy is a low life. Leave him under the boulder where he belongs. And PLEASE stop sending him nude photos. You never know where they will end up and who will see them.
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