A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, I got to know this girl through dating another girl - and she helped me through this huge breakup and became a huge friend of mine - and she fell for me i dont know since when but she gave me her hand to hold and even told me she was in love with me but since i wasnt sure if i was over my ex- i just said okay "OUCH i know"! but we managed to keep a great friendship until we suffered a slump in which time i got to know i couldnt live without her - and so we started a relationship, but within a few weeks i had to leave the country and im still here for longer than what time i assumed to be staying and i still call her but it doesnt feel the same so i just gave up calling hoping she would move on - i need help as to what I can do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, stina +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Hello again,
I think that you need to find a way to contact your girlfriend and let her know what you're thinking in terms of where the relationship is heading.
If you two want to stay together, perhaps it's possible for her to travel to meet you, or for you to travel and meet her for a bit? (I'm not sure how far away you are from each other.) Or maybe you could try and talk online, webcams and stuff, you know? Of course it will not be the same as seeing each other in person, but it's at least a bit more personable to actually be able to see one another, you know?
But regardless of whether or not the relationship keeps going or fizzles out, you really should call her. From what you wrote in your update, it sounds like she really needs to hear from you. Then she'll at least know where she stands. Don't abandon her! That's worse than actually having someone break up with you. Just try to look at things from her perspective - she's totally in the dark about what's going on, you know?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits not that i dont want to call her (i really want to) - but its just on the phone everything is different and harder and we havent been togather for long - it hurts me to see nothing is developing further between us
and by the way : i know from her sister very coincedently that she is doing badly - im not sure its because i havent called in a while but it might and i dont want to but mayb e its for the best - you know what i mean?
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (3 October 2007):
Hi Anonymous,
If you feel like things just are not working out for the both of you, you should really tell your girlfriend. I know if my partner just stopped calling me, I'd feel like crap and wonder what in the heck was going on. And if you don't say anything, chances are - if she really loves you - she will not just move on like you are hoping! People who are in love - *really* in love - will wait as long as it takes. You really owe her an explanation. And who knows, you both may be able to work things out and remain a couple by figuring out what needs to be done to get your relationship back on track.
But, please call her. She's probaby a mess if you've just up and ignored her.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 tell her the truth, it was so sweet even though you know you care about her you let her go incase she had moved on. call her tell the truth, if she likes you as much as she said she did, felings like that don't go away it takes time call her.
good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): i wouldnt ignore her as she will feel you has done something wrong, give her a call say your sorry and ask her if you can still be friends im sure she will
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Unfortunately your time together was cut short but the feelings are still there. You love her enough to let her go - incase she wanted to move on. Thats the sweetest thing anyone could do. But you need to know what she is thinking and feeling. Give her a call. Tell her that you know you have been longer than intended but you think alot of her and you want to know if there could be something between you when you return. It can only be a yes or no. Then you can both get on with your lives either together or apart.
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