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male
age
36-40,
*yan4414
writes: My girlfriend and I split about a week ago. It has been incredibly hard for me. We've been talking for the past two days and I cannot tell if she's just being nice or if she still likes me. We met this afternoon to exchange X-mas presents. It was very awkward. We hugged a few times, I tried to hold her hand but she let it slip away. I tried to kiss her in the driveway, but she turned her cheek out and let me kiss that instead. I'm going insane over this girl. She is most certainly the one and I don't want to lose her. Is there anything I can do to improve our situation?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): I went out with a girl for 10 years. We almost got married three times. It was always her that kept splitting up with me and never me with her. The worst part is that i kept trying to get her back only to split up again a short while after. I tried everything to the extent that i had changed for her. On one occassion she even left me for someone else and even then i took her back. She reassurred me that nothing happened between her and this guy she left me for but i find that hard to believe now. More recently she went abroad on a work project with work colleagues. However, just before she reassurred me that on her return we would get married. She went for 10 days and two days before returning she telephoned me saying lets get married and i felt that the moment was right so i agreed, the plan was to buy her a ring on her return. However, on her return i picked her up from the airport and as soon as we got home she said she wanted to split up again. I was devastated by this having built high hopes and dreams. To make matters worse she didnt even give me a reason as to why she wanted to split up but i guess it was a little obvious that either she had met someone from work or she had figured out that i was not the one for her and there was something better for her out there. This has upset me so much because i have done everything to slavage our relationship and nothing has worked. Even now im hoping she'll call but unlike all the other times its been almost 8 weeks our longest break to date.
The point that im trying to make is that sometimes things happen for a reason, in my case i love her very much to the extent that if she cant be with me because im making her miserable i hope she finds someone that will truly make her happy. As difficult as it maybe to accept she broke up with me a decision influenced by ones feeling. Someone who decides to break up does it because they no longer feel the same way towards you like they did when they first met you. Its human instinct to desire something that you cant have so its understandable the way your feeling. But my advice is you can either wish her the best and hope she finds what she is looking for or you can keep trying to persuade her to stay with you. Each has a different end result, if you leave her alone and wish her the best it may and i say may rekindle her old feelings for you and she will come back, or you can push her away even further by trying to persuade her and lose her forever. I would advise you to let her go and move on by living your own life and if its meant to be she'll get in touch with you. Dont Dont accept lets be friends as not only will you be putting her guilt at ease but making things worse for yourself when she does evenually move on and find someoen else. The best thing you can do for yourself is to go out and try your best to enjoy yourself, maybe maybe in time you will find someone else that ay put a different perpective on your current relationship. One thing that i will say in her favour is that she has definetly gone the right way of letting you down gently my ex just shut the door on my face and laughed and that was after ten years. The best thing you can do is to accpet the situation and give her what she wants. But dont try persuading her plz because you will i promise you look back and wish you hadnt if it doesnt work and even if it does for her to only leave you later. Let her go buddy, i have and its only been 6 weeks and im going insane. All the best my friend.
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (26 December 2006):
 Her body language says she cares for you but not as a boyfriend anymore. Sorry, give her the space and try to move on. She has tried to let you down gently.
It is a tough time, stay strong, time will help heal.
xxx
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A
female
reader, Emmz +, writes (25 December 2006):
I am in the same situation. my boyfriend dumped me about a week or two ago and its been hard. his mum didnt like me and that caused problems. we got back togeter and then he dumped me again and it hurt more than ever. i look back now and wish that i didnt get back with him because it hurts all over agin. you do get over it eventually but you only hurt yourself if you take the risk of getting back together only to be dumped again. try and move on while its at its easiest. good luck
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A
male
reader, cherub +, writes (25 December 2006):
 It is always a tremendous wrench to lose someone.The way you felt I guessed both of you must have been together for some time. The question of why is this happening,the sadness,the fear of not finding another relationship like this one and the lost of a beautiful relationship must be going through your mind 24/7. Truly in time you will come to term with it and secondly you will find the beauty and loving in another relationship different from this one.
It does seems she has comes to some understanding that this relationship is no longer what fulfil her life or she need some space to find herself or she has feeling for someone else. Her actions are in a way really kind i.e.letting you know and not prolonging the pain.Probably would only be better if she sits down and sincerely explain to you her inner feeling why you want out.
One way is to let her have space to figure it out herself and if she still has feeling for you then you will some back and you can rebuild a stronger relationship.Meanwhile if you can you could go out with friends from both sexes for some fun and rekindle acquaintances and make new ones.You are not forgetting her,just enjoying a different part of your life.
If this is your first serious relationship then it is understandable it will be really difficult but hopefully it has not spoil your view of the possibility of another beautiful relationship in the future.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, charmed4eva353 +, writes (25 December 2006):
 Have you tried sitting down and talking to her and telling her what she means to you and how you feel about her. i can see you love her so maybe take her out.
This girl on the otherhand might be hiding something.
You should both book a day to meet and sit down and ask her to be truthful on how she feels about you then you tell her exactly what you think of her.maybe buy her a braclet or some earings.
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