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female
,
anonymous
writes: I was going out with this guy for a year and a half. My feelings eventually changed and i broke up with him. He was really hurt and got suicidal and stuff for like a month. During this month i had been spending a lot of time with my friend.. who is also friends with my ex boyfriend. Eventually our friendship grew into more and we both like each other. But when my ex found out he flipped and it was this whole big ordeal. Then my ex started spending a lot of time with this girl.. i should have been happy he was finally moving on, but i was insanley jealous. I couldn't understand why for the life of me. Then i questioned everything about me and my friend cause i started missing my ex. I told my ex what was going on and he told me he didnt like anyone else he still loved me and that i needed to decided what to do. I didnt tell my friend because i didn't want to hurt him. Now im completly stuck between the two and i dont know what to do!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (11 February 2006):
 Sweeetie, You must take a break from both these guys and step back,
then see which one comes seeking you out first.
Men are hunters...not the hunted, let them do the hunting & stop running around in circles for these guys.
Wishing You The Best.
Take Care.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (11 February 2006):
 Sadly you have do have to make a decision. I say sadly because I for one would not doubt that your feelings for both parties are totally genuine and I dont see any way for you to avoid hurting somebody you really care about. You may think that blunt but I think part of making the descision is that you have to accept that fact. Obviously you didn't intend to hurt anybody but sadly life sometimes puts us in these positions.
It is entirely possible to be in love with two people at the same time but normally only possible to be in a relationship with one person at any given time and it is that fact that puts people in these positions. Focus on this when making your decision, you may care foir both parties and want to hurt neither but who do you want to be in a full-blown relationship with? Since I dont know the reasons why you split, why your feelings changed, with your ex it is hard to comment on that but have the issues that caused this change been resolved or is he offering to resolve them?
Obviously you still feel some connection with him to miss him and be jealous of a new girl. Is it possible some circumstance made you bury your original feelings and that now they have resurfaced? Maybe you should take some time to yourself to make this decision because it is an important one to get right. When you have made it, stick to it and dont flinch on the grounds of not hurting people. Hope that helps, good luck and take care.
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