A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex broke up with me about 10.5 weeks ago now. I've been going out on dates, getting attention from other chicks, and feeling better as of late.It's been 3 weeks since I last talked to her, which is the longest stretch since we've met. I decided I felt good enough to catch up with her a bit, as she is a great friend and we have close mutual friends still.This is how our communication has gone since she broke up with me:1. Breakup.2. I avoid all contact with her for 7 weeks; she IMs me twice during this time.3. 2 Weeks later, she returns from a trip out of the country; I send her an email welcoming her back.4. The same week, she IMs me every night, we talk for 30 minutes to an hour at a time.5. I see her in person for the first time in 2 months at the end of the week, at her instigation.6. She goes out of town to visit her family/work the next day.7. 20 days of no communication with her whatsoever.8. I email her.9. 2 days after I sent the email, I call her (this afternoon)--get voicemail.Given my email and phone call, it really seems like she is avoiding contact with me. Why would she suddenly start to avoid talking with me, especially when just a few weeks ago she started to talk to me every night and wanted to see me? Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): Perhaps you mistake IM and email for real communication and a real relationship, she is being lazy and dealing with you without dealing with you....it's over dude, move on, find a real live girl who won't just IM you, but actually wants to spend some time together with you, there are so many women, myself included who want a boyfriend to actually talk to them and spend real time with them and who will appreciate you for it, not ignore you....she is over you, and you need to quit contacting her and checking in with her, forget about the friends thing, they call em exes for a reason.
A
male
reader, quarky  +, writes (1 September 2007):
 My ex kept contacting me after we broke up. she wanted to be friends, I wanted to get back with her. I could only move on properly by completely cutting off contact. Maybe that's how she feels?
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A
male
reader, Escalaya +, writes (31 August 2007):
 It could be possible that she is NOT avoiding you, so please keep that in mind if you decide to react.
Also, if she is avoiding you, it could mean that she's moved on in her personal life, and her new partner is not comfortable with her keeping contact with her Ex. Another possibility is that she herself is not completely comfortable with keeping contact with you, or feels she cannot move on, with you around.
Those are just possibilities, don't put too much faith into them
Best of luck, take care.
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