A
female
age
30-35,
*x-lilmiss-xx
writes:Hey Agony Aunts and Uncles, i have a bit of a confusing situation in my mind. Recently ive been talking to a guy who i became very close to, he always text me 'good morning beautiful' every day and we stayed up til at least 2am most days just talking etc etc, however, the problem im having at the moment is this;On Friday just gone (1st July) I met up with him for the evening and we stayed in a hotel, he made a huge effort to come and see me because we live quite far apart, he also paid for the hotel room, paid for dinner and cocktails, the lot, treated me like a complete princess. And ill admit sexual things happened, only oral on both parts, no intercourse, but all in all everything cost around £250. On the Saturday after he left to head back home, i only received one text msg from him all day, and today none at all. Ive made attempts to msg him but i never get one back now, so my question is, what do you think is happening? was he only after a few sexual favours, if so why fork out £250? but if i meant more why the sudden distance and ignorance? I'm just really confused. So if you guys could help me out id really appreciate it as i like this guy a hell of a lot :(Thank you, xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): I wouldnt contact his family and friends, he might think you are clingy or a stalker.I would just let him go.I know they can be busy in the army, but even so it is odd how his attitude changed towards you when things started to get sexual. In my opinion this attitude is just a taste of the guy you would really know if you did go all the way with him... ie he wouldnt ever contact you again and he would completely forget you as opposed to just being distant now.He is 100% sure you are mad about him and he thinks he can use you what ever way he likes now... sorry if that sounds harsh, but I really think thats his attitude. So I still think he was just trying to use you for sex, never mind what he says (calling you beautiful or whatever). Has he really been there reasuring you that you can trust him after you spent the night in a hotel together... no, he's giving you the brush off.Forget about him and move on. You deserve much better.Good Luck.x
A
male
reader, helpOut.GuY +, writes (4 July 2011):
 thanks for the update, he could of got a new phone / number , and be worrying like you are now , contact his family/friends . find out what is realy going on.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (4 July 2011):
 Sorry LilMiss, I meant on a proper date with this 24 yr old man.
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A
female
reader, xx-lilmiss-xx +, writes (4 July 2011):
xx-lilmiss-xx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys, as a little update and a little more information; He's 24 years old and weve known each other for about 6 months roughly. To RedAthena, Yes i have been on proper dates before, i have a 4 month old little boy from a previous relationship which didnt work out. He works in the Army, but even so i know he doesnt work over a weekend and even during weekdays while he was working i could still expect up to about 30 - 40 texts off him in a day. Sammy1986 ive tried the simple 'Hey, you ok?' text, ive still got nothing back from him so i reckon you guys were right, ive just been used in this one, Thankyou for all your help! Was really confused over it. Hope you are all doing well x
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (4 July 2011):
Do you think he was hoping/expecting for more?
How long have you known him prior to this time?
Have you gone on proper dates before?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): Well I do definitely think he was after one thing, he's probably gradually roping you into a casual sex situation without you realising it. Him ignoring your texts is his way of letting you know not to get too clingy.... why?! Because his heart isn't in it. Its just a sexual thing for him im afraid.
As for treating you like a princess and forking out £250 that was more so for the benefit of his ego, so he could feel like he seduced you.
Now you know what he is like my advice is don't allow yourself to be used because clearly you have strong feelings for him and he couldn't really care less (sorry to be blunt)move on and don't look back. Just be glad you never went the full way with him and put it down to experience.
One of the signs are if a guy starts talking about sex very early on, and suggests hotels.
Take care & Good Luck.x
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A
male
reader, helpOut.GuY +, writes (3 July 2011):
huhm... this is a difficult situation , how old is he? he could be maried etc. and realy or busy at work? you just have to be patient. - here to help - helpOut.Guy -
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (3 July 2011):
 This one is a mystery. He invested a lot of money in the hotel and then just goes AWOL. Very odd. You say there was no intercourse so was there any reason why considering the other things that took place? I felt sure you was going to say intercourse happened.
Could he be married? Or, although he hasn't texted yet, it's only a couple of days but still a change in things. At the moment I'm afraid you are going to have to wait for him to communicate. That's really all you can do. If he was going to up and go, i would have thought he would have made sure he got the sex. Very strange. Please keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (3 July 2011):
why don,t you send him a simple text msg like hi how are you just keep in casual and see if he replies if not he was just after sex maybe he was dissapointed at only doing oral sex maybe he wanted full intercourse either way sorry to say this sounds like he has been using you hope didnt upset you :)
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (3 July 2011):
You never mentioned how long you've know each other. Sometimes if you're sexual too soon it ruins the developing connection. We ladies like to think we're giving him what we both want by being sexual. We ladies think it deepens the connection. However dudes that way a relationship with a young lady are turned off if she is sexual too soon. Guy may think well just bc she like me she'd do this n we haven't even known each other that long, I cannot imagine how many other guys she do this for. Guys that want a relationship prefer a girl who is a challenge, sexually and mentally. I'm 26 and my earliest I've ever had oral sex in a relationship was at the minimum 6 mos. I've been told I'm stingy, but they always chase me. What I'm saying is he may have liked you too but when u became intimate, it may have changed his mind about u romantically. It would suprise me if he contacted u again only for sexual purposes. Be careful precious, there's a lot of liars, stds, and pregnancies that can happen. In the future if u really like a guy try to make sure you both have an understanding and are in a relationship for a few months or longer before being sexually involved. Good luck
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