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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my fiancee for 1yr 6months, but we have major problems, we split up every week and its a joke. its been happening for the last year. its like were going round in circles and cant get to the next step. we argue over silly things and then our whole relationship gets thrown into the arguement. i feel like we dont understand each other. i dont want to loose him, and he doesnt want to loose me, but we cant carry on like this. we love each other so much but 70% of our relationship is arguing and splitting up. please help!
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female
reader, trita4 +, writes (4 August 2006):
i think you are adults and should both grow up. if starts an argument the other should keep quite. listening is a very important tool in communication and relationships. so learn to listen to the other so that they can also desire to hear you speak. just learn to listen to your partner and they will enjoy every moment with you.
A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (4 August 2006):
 Both of you are in a power struggle relationship! You want to win, he wants to win, noone gives in, noone tolerates, noone listens, you both explode, and thus break up in the heat of the argument. And then when things cool down, you guys get back together. Ya know, they say its always easier once you've done it the first time! so true in your case! You guys seem to have made a bad habit out of this, and everytime either one of you senses a slight 'victory' from the other partner, the breakup is used as a 'power trip' thing.
But you know wot, you're not alone, there are many couples like you guys out there. Its a constant battle, having to keep the relationship together with all the going and coming back, but in a way, its also got a lot to do with the excitement of it, I mean the thought of getting back together after a break up is thrilling and romantic in a way isnt it? Like you guys are meant to be together. But in all honesty, it doesnt work that way. Its not healthy.
The way I see it, there are only two options left. First, sit him down and have a long talk with him. You both should compromise in the relationship, and try your best to not use break up as an excuse. Give it some time, treat it as a trial period. If it still doesnt work, you know wot you should do next. Good luck!
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