| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I find myself falling into the same trap again with finding a partner.I met my ex through a dating site, and we texted and over that period we met in person fell in love, we were together for 2yrs, 1yr long distance we were going to move in together but at the end of the relationship I was badly hurt due to his priorities changing and i was dropped, dumped and broken hearted etc.Now that I'm recovering, I'm falling into the same routine again. I want to meet someone like minded and that wants to be loved and give that back to me? What am i doing wrong? where can you meet good people who take the relationship seriously, and will care for me and about us??
View related questions:
fell in love, long distance, my ex, period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (4 August 2006):
 You know, love is a trial and error thing really. Some lucky few get it right for the first time, but most dont, so they try and try again until they either give up or succeed. Whatever it is, you get to choose either way you want to go, and I honestly dont believe in going wrong or going right in the dating game. Some people are compatible, some are not, some settle for f*ck buddies, some dont, some like yourself loves the attention and want a family and all that, some want a no strings attached. You see where im getting at. Your aim basically is to find a guy whos after the same things as yourself, thus the term trial and error...because there is no way to tell if you guys hit it off if you dont try it.
Right, so you said your previous relationship failed, and you noticed you;re after the same thing in a new relationship. What are you doing wrong you ask, absolutely nothing! You're just being yourself. What I guess Im trying to say is give time a chance, for you to find someone similar, its just a matter of holding on and believing he's out there. And oh, live life in the mean time.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (4 August 2006):
 I know that some people have long term successful relationships through dating agencies but I rather think there are more stories of heart-ache related to this way of meeting a prospective partner too. Dating agencies include lots of players, married folk looking for affairs and people with interpersonal or social problems that find it hard to meet people in another way. I am not suggesting that you fit into that category but you have to be realistic about the sort of people who may join dating agencies. I am sure there are some nice people too and it seems more mainstream with internet dating these days but it should still be treated with caution. Maybe the lesson to learn from your past experience is not to go down the dating agency route again or at least until you are resilient enough to stand the knocks. I know it is harder to meet partners these days - busy lives, urban living and clubs/ pubs full of people looking for casual sex. However, I think if you join social or sports clubs related to your interests then you stand a better chance of meeting someone who is long-term relationship material. Also you have to stop wanting 'the relationship' so much, and be aware that you deserve to meet someone special who will treat you nicely. I kissed a lot of frogs in my 20's before meeting my husband in my 30's - there were times when I felt lonely in the past but I reminded myself that being single was better than being stuck in a bad relationship. I actually met my husband when I definitely wasn't looking for a relationship as I was going through a cynical phase and he really had to fight to knock my door down. I just think you have to sit back and wait for the right person to come along for you.
...............................
|
