A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Agony Aunts! Well, this is a mildly interesting story with some weird circumstances. It's also rather long, so I hope you have the patience. In addition to that, let me start by saying that nothing has happened yet, but I'm wondering if (and kind of hoping) something will.Anyways, about ten years ago, I became a member of this one website (it's a social networking forum which I'm proud to say I'm still a member of). At this point, the guy I will be talking about in this story had been a member for a little under two years. He is also still a member on the forums. After the first year of me being on the forums, we started talking and we got to know each other really well over the next six years.This guy is three years younger than me and we "met" when I was about to turn eighteen and he was fifteen. After a while of being on the forums together (I was about a year in), he told me of his dream of becoming the owner of a major computer networking business (I swear, this guy will be the next Bill Gates).He ultimately - and pre-maturely - offered me a job as his senior secretary because I told him of my dream of becoming a published author and he told me if I took the job, I could make "fast money" with him because he said he would pay me very generously as I will have acquired a Master's in English.I seriously thought he was joking at first and so I played along and told him I wanted some really kick-ass benefits, an extremely flexible schedule, weekly pay with a 401K, an apartment with paid utilities (I pay the rent), and free parking at my apartment building and at the building I would work at. He said, 'Done.'A little over five years later, I graduated with a Master's in English and moved to the east coast where, by coincidence, I bumped into this guy on the street. This was the first time we had seen each other in person, so we didn't recognize each other at first. He was getting a bottle of water from a street vender to cool himself down after a run around the park. I have to say, I thought he looked fucking delicious right there!Anyways, we started talking and catching up (even though just the day before, we had been talking online) and everything went great! Two months later, I became his senior secretary with everything handed to me on a silver-platter, but I have to admit, I was (and am) probably one of the hardest working people in that building. After a while, I didn't want a flexible schedule anymore, so I started working upwards of seventy-five to eighty hours per week.And this is where controversy stirs up: A year later, we decided to move in together because we had almost the same schedule (he gets off work an hour after I do and I don't work weekends, whereas he does) and it would save us both a lot of money if we shared rent. We moved into a two bed-room apartment with two bathrooms and you can imagine what rent is like if you live in New York. *Rolls eyes*Anywho, since he was my boss, we couldn't do much more after that, but after a while, people started asking us if we were dating and one middle-aged woman commented on the fact that it was a shame we couldn't date because we would produce the cutest children. I felt myself blush fiercely at that one!But I started thinking about what it would be like to actually date him because I never did put much thought into it. I was always into guys who were Democrats (like myself) with brown hair and glasses who lived near the north like I did (still do, really). This guy is a Republican with blonde hair and perfect vision and is from Kentucky. Way out of my spectrum!Well, nicking the idea of not dating him, I began noticing things about him that I never did before. And not even just the cute, fluffy stuff like opening a door for me or defending my honor, but things like catching him staring at me and telling me I'm beautiful with the most sincere tone of voice. I even overheard his conversation with a co-worker of mine and he said slipped out the fact that he had fallen in love with me but was so angry that he was my boss because he couldn't act on his urges.And this is where things stop... momentarily. I'm not really sure what to do here. Should I quit my amazingly well-paying job with the amazing benefits and work elsewhere? We seem to reciprocate each other's feelings and I want to date him as well! I'm just not sure what I can do here...Help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
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female
reader, sparkleworks  +, writes (17 March 2009):
 I'm the biggest sceptic in the world. I won't go into any more detail than that because this will turn into a 10,000 word essay, but I definitely have never had any time for fate, true love, yada yada...
After reading your post, the only thought in my head is "THESE PEOPLE ARE SOUL MATES!!!"
However what's even more important than my own embarrassingly emotional reaction is this: it's not just the story that shaped my thoughts that way, it was the way *you* told it in *your* words. See what I'm trying to get at?
The 'realist' part of me recognises the dilemma you're in with your job and your living situation, and major props to you for being as mature as you have been about this. But if you don't give this guy a shot my newly-awakened hopeless romantic will be crushed forever. Please don't do that to me :)
I hope whatever happens next turns out well for you.
xx
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 For starters, either you or him can start looking for a job elsewhere, that pays just as well. Both of you are young enough to ventrue out and explore job-career possibilities that would eventually enhance your careers anyways. Particularly, a job that actually gives you more hours outside work.
I am surprised that with the 80-hours week you have at your work, you still have time to do anything else. In fact, it is darn impossible to have a life outside work with those hours that you keep.
What good is all that money and nice apartment if you don't have any time to enjoy it now? Unless of course, your plan is to work your butt off until you are 40 and with the money you have accumulated, you retire early and enjoy the fruits of your hard work. That includes, start looking for a b/f after your early retirement?
You are a Senior Secretary? With a Master's degree, you should be a Senior Executive, or an Executive Secretary (i.e. Director).
Cat
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