A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel*
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years now, we shared great memories and then not so great. it seems to me that we have both been losing interest in our relationship, we have been fighting constantly about the smallest thing. im so afraid of being played! we normally spent time togther but now we hardly speak! do you think he might be cheating? or even loosing interest?i am suffering from depression and it seems to make it even worse, im constantly douthing myself and our relationship! im at a poit where i cant love myself anymore, how can i love someone else then?is there a way to save this relationship? he is my world and i love him to death! im scared that i might be pussing him away?will we survive this? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, HeartBlossom  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Believe it or not, if you're still fighting, that's something. What comes after that is the withdrawal and emptiness that really makes cheating likely. The two of you can turn this around if you assess your mutual needs and figure out what's missing. Here's what people typically need: you need to be proud of each other, somehow, and say so; you need to help each other with chores and finances; you need to work on keeping each other interested in terms of looks and in your sex lives; you need to be physically affectionate in ways that don't necessarily lead to sex too; you need to talk to each other a lot and learn to be honest about your feelings without being selfish and hurting each other; and you need to share time together on hobbies or just enjoying life. Try to spend at least 16 hours per week doing stuff with him--eating, talking, even watching TV together--and try to hit all these basic points every day. He probably feels something lacking too, but if you're covering all these needs, then he'll probably be willing to handle yours in return. The spark can come back pretty quickly if you start giving each other all these things.
|
