A
female
age
30-35,
*rovecenter
writes:I was dating a guy and we hit it off and we really emotionally connected but defianetly moved too fast. The end result was that he freaked himself out by moving so fast and said that he wants to be friends and doesn't want to lose me as a friend. The kicker is that he actually means it. He keeps telling me that I am a good friend to have like I need to be reminded. I think I am just really confused by this. He hasn't dated around much and I think that was his intention when we were talking for it not to get serious but then it did, and I get that he wants to date around but it just feels weird that I am getting penalized with the friend card and put on the back burner.. I guess my question is just needing advice on this situation in general and any thoughts on his whole friend move and if I should stay on the backburner or if anything would even come of it. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, theaboo +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Be careful!! This exact same thing happened to me! When Andrew told me he wanted to just be friends, I said "fine" and played it cool. Whenever he had a problem, I would help him with whatever.. even if it was just telling him a silly joke to cheer him up. His ex was always starting drama, and I was there every time.. We texted every day, got beers at least once a week, and went dancing every Saturday. Sometimes after our "friend dates", we would go home together and have sex... especially if there was alcohol involved. But he always had a way to get me up and out by 8 AM. What I found out later was that he was still hung up on his ex. He used me at first to get over her, then when I couldn't fill the gap enough.. he used me to make her jealous. They got back together and he told me we can't talk anymore, even as friends, because she can't trust him with me. So, my advice to you is to emotionally distance yourself from him. Guys love when you ignore them, it makes them sweat you that much more. But secondly, if he does end up screwing you over.. then at least you already started getting away from him emotionally. I still miss Andrew.. not our relationship but our inside jokes and good times. Because I tried to play the game his way.. I lost out completely. Make your own rules, girl!
A
female
reader, T-Marie  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Hey there,
Obviously every situation is different but i'll tell you what happened with me first. I met my other half in November last year, we got together the first week in december, we got engaged in february and got married in may. We split up for a month at the end of june but this was due to stress after we had suffered a miscarriage and and extremely stressful wedding. We are back together, still married and happier than ever.
The moral of the story is that things moving way too fast isn't always a bad thing. The only way things can move to fast is if you both want them to!
You need to speak to him and explain this! Also try telling him that you would be more than happy to slow things right down as you agree that things went far too fast.
I hope this helps xxx T
...............................
A
female
reader, candygirl_iraq  +, writes (10 August 2010):
Is hurting you to be just his friend? If it is,then you should let go and move on.Start dating,too. If he still has feelings for you then he'll come back when he feels you have really let go...if not,then so be it. You deserve to be happy.
...............................
|
