A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i met this guy on habbo about 2 and half years ago now. We started speaking on msn then too. Now he's the same age as me. And i have developed strong feeling over the past years or so and the other day he was tipsy and he said 'sorry i'm a little tipsy, but i think of it as a drunk man does what a sober man wants too' then about 10minutes later he told me that he loved me.But here's the issue he lives in Poole, Dorset,England and I live in Glasgow,Scotland. I'm going to Poole in September to meet him with some friends, what should i do? help please, i don't know if a long distance realationship would work..HELP!
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drunk, long distance, met online, msn Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 July 2008):
You will like Poole. I'm about an hour n half from there. Its nice. Hope the weather is still ok ish.
Like someone else said, go with the intention of just meeting a 'friend' that you have been talking to on line for a while. No expectations. Thats the same as any date to be honest. The rest will come later.
C xxxxx
A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (29 July 2008):
Do you know who this guy really is? If he sent you a picture of himself, is it really HIM? There are a lot of people who do not display a REAL picture of themselves. Do you have proof of he real age? You don't know these things, really, do you?
Meeting someone online, for any age, is a potentially dangerous thing. There are a lot of preditors (peverts) out there looking for young girls to prey on. And there are a lot of bad things that happen to these girls, sometimes horrible things.
If you really can't resist meeting this guy, go with friends. Don't let him know where you live or work. If you DO meet him, make sure he doesn't follow you after the meeting. Be Careful!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionone of my friends has family down there so we will be staying with them for a long weekend..
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 July 2008):
The odds are stacked against you with the distance. Incredibly hard work and a lot of maturity needed.
If the guy has never met you yet and says he loves you, you cant love someone over the internet, that you've never met, in my opinion, and a lot of relationship experts will say the same thing, in fact i would think all would. People think its love, and thats where the give away of maturity comes in. But you have spoken on line for a while so i would meet up if you are down his way. Especially if you are going to be with others.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, bemused +, writes (29 July 2008):
Hi hun
When I answer this quesion...I am considering your age here. In my eyes, you are so young to be tied down in a long distance relationship. To me, you are almost having to put all your eggs in one basket and overlook some of the great guys who might be in Glasgow for this situation.I am not sure it is so great that he has said he loves you when he has not even clapped eyes on you in person and he was drinking when he said it. Now, you are in a tizzy, wondering if he is 'the one'. He might be, but slow down, take a deep breath and think this one through.
It is good you are going with friends to Poole. Where will you stay? Instead of looking as this guy as a potential great romance, cool it down a bit and when you meet him, just see if you hit it off as friends.
I do not think you should be cutting off potential guys in Glasgow for this guy. You are young my dear and should be having some FUN not wondering about a possible relationship with a guy you will hardly ever see.
I would say..meet him but keep your options open
Good luck hun xxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni also know who he is, we have regualr phone calls and video calls on msn. I talk to him on bebo ect aswell
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthese answers have been helpful, i am going with friends i wouldn't go alone. What things do you have in mind that i could plan to stop awkwardness then?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): CAUTION!! You never really know who it is on the other end. There are sooo many weirdos out there, and it could be extremely dangerous.If you never met him, how can you really be attached to him?Do you know who I am, or what I am, just by reading this? Am I ugly, or nice looking? Am I a woman or a man? Am I educated? Do I have a job? Am I young or old? Am I sane or some lunatic? Am I SAFE or Dangerous? I am just saying, be careful, because ya never know.
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A
male
reader, Cade Ovation +, writes (29 July 2008):
If it really is love, you will both find a way to make things work. If you are serious about making things work, and meeting up to see if you both are the same person you think you are, I would call him on the phone and make a plan to meet. Plan out when you are going to meet, what you are going to be doing and with whom. I think it is a smart idea to go with friends; not to dump on your parade, but until you meet face to face and really get to know them in person, you have no idea really who this guy is, and he could very well be dangerous if you are not careful. I recently traveled across country to meet someone I met online and share strong feelings towards as well. Without a plan for the first few days, there were quite a few awkward silences. With other people around, you can use them to kick start conversations and activities, so you two can try to relax and be yourselves, rather than having to carry the conversations all the time or impress each other. Best of luck to you. If this turns out to be what you expect it to, then you will both find a way to make it work. Just be prepared for the possibility that i/ he may not be the person you think he is, ii/ you may not be the person he thinks you are or iii/ it may not be meant to be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): Ok, I think you should meet him but don't place too much expectations or hopes on him being as you *expect* him to be......Knowing and interacting with someone online, and even on the telephone etc can be very different to real life. That does not mean a relationship cant work - I met my current boyfriend in a chat room and when we met it was great and we are now very much in love! Just go with an open mind, thinking 'well we might or might not get on' etc, and dependent on how strong your feelings are AFTER meeting THEN you can decide whether you want to pursue a long distance relationship with him or not! It does not have to be serious straight away!
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (29 July 2008):
im in a long distance relationship and i have to travel much further..long distance relationships can work. but you have to work really hard and be committed..its far from easy. but you can do it but be prepared for hard work..if not best to end it sooner than later..in the end it is your choice, but it is hard and its a 50% 50% it will work or not..remember you proberly wont be able to see each other for the better part of a year is that something you could live with? you have to ask yourself alot of questions about it all.. hope that helps aphex xx hug
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