A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Theres this guy I met online while selling him a membership to an adult site. Anyway, To make a long story short we ended up talking on MSN and on the phone for about a month already and now he wants to meet me. I have already made up several stories as to why we can't meet and such. The problem is I'm not who I say I am. I have lied about my looks and age plus have hidden the fact that I'm already married to a great guy. I never meant for this to happen but I think I'm starting to have feelings for this new guy too. I know this was stupid of me to do in the first place. Do you think I should I let my husband know what happened?? I'm just confused as to what to tell the new guy now without hurting his feelings or my husbands.. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): i know this post is old, but...wow! we are so in the same boat! only, i haven't felt love for my husband in a long time, he is a great guy, but has so many issues of his own, and i've stayed married to him for the sake of our children. i met a man online using a fake account set up to catch a friends husband cheating,and i ended up lying to him about pretty much everything but my personality,my views on the world, etc etc. he found out as did my hubby. my husband wants to try and work it out, but i am undecided. the internet guy doesn't want anything to do with me, and he's the one i really want. i totally sympathize, and though i can't really give any advise, i can tell you that you are not alone.
A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 ok everyone else seems to think you should tell the internet guy the truth but i disagree and will give you my honest opinion regardless of what others have said.
you need to get out of this. quickly. and preferably without anyone being hurt. luckily it has only been going on for a few weeks, its not like it has been a year so the chances are, there is minimal emotional involvement. that is why you have to do this now. switch the computer off - delete msn if you can - and have no further involvement with the internet guy. i dont think you should tell him the truth as it will make him mad and embarrass him ( you will probably feel embarrassed admitting it too!), just tell him you dont see a future and dont think you should stay in contact.
Don't tell your husband either - he will be very hurt and as long as you can promise yourself it will not happen again, i dont think it is worth losing his trust over.
do all of this today, it is not going to go anywhere with the internet guy so do it before you become too emotionally involved and end up really liking him - you know that at some point you have to stop things with him because of the lies you have told him it cant happen, and you said you have a great husband so i dont think you really WANT anything to happen with the internet guy.
i also think you need to address what you got from the internet guy that you are not getting from your husband. if your husband was meeting all of your needs and making you happy, there would be no attraction to the internet guy as he would not be able to offer you anything you dont already have.
best of luck x
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A
female
reader, darksecretangel +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Hey you should tell this guy the truth, you will hurt his feelings but unfortunatly thats the only way you can get out of this mess, this guy only knows you as the fictional person you have portrayed to be, your husband knows and loves the real you. My advice is to tell the guy the truth and if he still persitantly bothers you tell your husband about him and grovel like mad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): Your behavior sounds pathological. When somebody falls further and further into lies and drama without a clear ability to stop themselves I would say thats a condition not just behavior. Luckily you havnt made contact with this internet guy. Forget about him and get a psychologist or a very good counselor. You are on the verge of tearing your family and life apart, this is VERY serious. Stop lying to yourself about the severity of your problem and get help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): well id advise telling this internet guy the truth or it could just get worse and what if he arrives at your door one day and your husband finds out? i suggest end this internet affair fast and try forget about it, people make mistakes but this has potential to destroy your relationship with the man you truely love (your husband) and if you used a secret identity he is not falling in love with the real you he is falling in love with a fictional character so stop and dont even think about falling for him you already have a man in your life.best of luck! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): You are being a silly woman. I know you will mark my reply accordingly. Perhaps internet man is lying too and is an axe murderer. I met someone who was a violent control freak but hid it so well until it was almost too late. I wasn't married though. How do you know he won't start to stalk you, perhaps he is an alcoholic, a gambler, a thief. A paedophile after your children. You can not possibly fall for someone who you don't know. Perhaps you are shallow and think you can. I feel sorry for your husband, there are pleny of people on this website with much more reason to be unhappy who would really appreciate a good husband. I wonder whether you deserve yours.
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