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male
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*heonix
writes: I have been with my girlfriend just over a year and we are very much in love. Recently she has said that she is not as attracted to me now as she first was but maintains that she still loves me just as much and that we ought to try to make it work. She has also said that she wants to have a break from sex for a while to see if we can reignite the spark. I am more than willing to do this as I love her very much but how do we get back to the way things were before and what do her feelings mean? I was hurt by what she said but I really had to fight to get it out of her. What do you suggest? I really need help, Im going crazy!
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male
reader, tallbloke +, writes (19 February 2007):
Very good advice from someone there, get yourself out with your mates more. Make yourself less available. Have lots of girls talking to you and flirting for you. It works a treat ;)
I do find it sad that one has to do this however, but I guess everyone likes someone who is independant. No one likes a needy person, it's a big turn off for both sexes.
I've been making the same mistake myself recently. Last saturday though I went out dressed to kill & had girls kicking me on the sly & rubbing themselves up against me whilst on the dance floor while I was dancing with my girlfriend ;) Girls can behave really bad can't they :o
A
female
reader, MilanaNYC21 +, writes (27 January 2006):
 My current boyfriend had a very similar situation with his ex. Unfortunately, if she lost "attraction" this early in the relationship, it does not look very good for the future. However, on a good note I know of a situation where the sex was pretty much dead also, the boyfriend began to work out heavily, other girls started checking him out in front of his g/f and she felt a new found lust for him.
Perhaps your g/f is being shallow or perhaps she has non-selfishly fallen out of love with you. I do not recommend changing yourself for anyone. You can try and stick it out for a while, but I would not waste so much time on a person who falls out of love so easily. Makes me question her love in the first place.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2006): Hey, sorry I can't be of more help, but I had to post to let you know that I really feel for you - I'm in a similar situation and it hurts like hell. But I also have the benefit of having been in your girl's position before too. Give it a chance, don't push or nag, even though it's frustrating. Let her know she matters to you but keep your dignity. Have a laugh with her, be spontaneous and interested in what she has to say, but show her that you have your own interesting life too. That's very important as it will be attractive to her, whilst also making you feel better about yourself. I can't guarantee anything as I don't know her personally, but I really hope that it works out for you. All the best x
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