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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and we now live together in his home town, 200 miles from my home town.He has a 4 year old daughter with his ex who lives round the corner from us. In the first couple of years she stirred trouble between us, always trying to come between us. She seems to have no problem now and has not interfered for some time. However, as she used to hang with his friends she is often at the same places as us when were out, I feel like I can't get away from her. I can cope with her when dropping her daughter off etc. but would rather not see her all the time during our leisure time. My heart races and I get really moody when she is out at same time as us. She is a rubbish Mum amongst many other things that annoy me about her but I don't know how best to cope with these feelings? help?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 Difficult this one, but you actively need to seek out other sources of amusement for your lesuire time to avoid bumping into her. You and your BF should find a new set of friends, whilst not dropping your old ones of course, but just spending less time with them.
You are doing the right thing not interfering in his relationship with his child, and as for the ex ignoring her stupidity worked to a point didn't it? Well she gave up after a bit didn't she?
you feel threatened by his ex obviously (and very understandably) but don't ever let her see the way she makes you feel.
Stay strong, carry on the way you are, eventually the feelings towards her will ease when you realise she is no longer a threat. Ex's can be bad news, but it sounds like you have the measure of this one.
Good Luck x
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