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female
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*rokenhearted
writes: I really need help on this on. I'm extremely confused at mo. My bf of 3 yrs broke up recently, he kissed a girl from work, told me a few days later, said he had ruined it all, never thought he'd ever ever do such a thing, especially to me, doesn't know why he did it and that i should never trust him again especially as hes disgusted with himself and doesnt know if he can trust himself anymore!The thing is he still rings to see how I am, the truth is I'm like a yo-yo, up and down all the time! He knows I'm not taking it too well, he's knows how much I love him and he knows how confused i am!The thing is I know he's been confused for sometime about what he wants and I've "tried" to give him space but when we were together it was really perfect and he'd tell me things and say things that he wouldn't have said if he wasn't sure he meant them. I know I did make him happy and I know he did love me very much.The thing is he was really drunk at his christmas party when he kissed the girl. But he does get drunk a lot and has never ever done anything like this which leads me to think that he really doesn't know what he wants and I think this is what hes thinking too!What can I do?? I love him! I really do! I'm 21 and he's 23, i know we still young in the grand scale of things but we did really really love eachother once and I can't understand how he could just fall out of love! Is this possible? I asked him was there any chance and he said he honestly doesn't know!! How can I show him and remind him of what we had! It really was wonderful!
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female
reader, brokenhearted +, writes (7 December 2005):
Thanks for your answer but will he really not respect me if i love him still!!! Thats just stupid!! I love him. I forgive him! I feel like I'm the one being punished here!! Hes the kind of guy who will move on so as he won't hurt me again not because he doesn't love me!!! what can i do? i really need more advice. i'm going crazy here!! thanks
A
female
reader, Mirabell +, writes (7 December 2005):
 You need to be away from him for a while. You think, of course, that you love him and you should be with him. If you stay with him right now he will lose respect for you.When a guy TELLS you that you shouldn't be with him at the moment, that isn't just sweet--it's a red flag.Take a break. If he loves you enough, he will be there when it is over. That way he can respect you (which he obviously doesn't if he cheated on you.) It's your only hope for his future fidelity.If you stay together you will fight with, resent, and question him and the two of you will run the relationship into the ground with no hope of a future.It seems like the most difficult thing in the world--but it the only chance sometimes to put loyalty back in the relationship.He has to know he messed up and you have to get away from him so you can think. Just for a little while.
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