| A
female
,
*lankton_pmc
writes: I'm a freshy in the university. I've met many new friends. One day I met my friend's boyfriend, I think he quite likes me and I feel that too. We exchaged our phone number and went out together. But the trouble is he's my friend's boyfriend. Please someone tell me what should I do.
View related questions:
university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lyd_foster  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Hi i am in the same situation as you are - stared college and made a new friend and met her boyfriend.
Except that i went out and dated the friend's boyfriend and got caught by MY boyfriends mum :(
So now i have lost my boyfriend, my good friend and her boyfriend
So i would advise you to stop now
If he did it too her he will do it to you
and its horrible when you are found out
learn from my mistake
:)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): be honest with yourself and ask if its worth losing a friend over a boy. Do you see yourself being with him long term?Or is it just lust and attraction? It may hurt but it will save tears and pain later on
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): I liked a boy before, but was really shy at the time and never asked him out, soon after he started dating my friend, it stung yea but it was my friend and they are still both happy why mess that up, I know it's hard to support their relationship but rarely do people find a friend, so cherish what you have
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): REALLY! I agree, if you value FRIENDSHIP then SUPPORT your friend. And really you may not believe any of this now, but you can be he'll be your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.And you'll definitely lose them both. Ready to inflict twice the heartache on a good friend too?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): i am in this situation as we speak and its not a pretty one. i knew this boy longer than my frined but never tol d him i was feeling him. when my frined hooked up with him that hurt my heart . i didnt know what to do so i kept quiet. all the feelings i had for him i hid until he told me he was feeling me too. but me and him came to an agreement that she doesn't deserve this and nothing has happened from that point and nothing will. i love my frined way to much to do that. Good "FRIENDS" are hard to come by so thats why im not letting mine slip away from me
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): WHAT THE HELL IS GOING THROUGH BOTH OF YOUR HEADS!!!!!!!!this girl is you friend and his girlfriend... does this mean anything to you? what you are doing is COMPLETELY IMMORAL.
i am shocked at how all people seem so demoralised that they are so willing to throw everything away for lust, epseically a friendship, wihc as many people have said, lasts longer than any guy! do you not realise the pain you are and will cause your friend if you do this? she could , and probubly does love the guy and loves you as her friend and so it will be twice the heart ache, and believe me she will never get over it.
i am speaking from the experience of being in the position of your so called "friend", infact i have been in this position twice.IT HURTS. there is no way to describe how badly it hurts when two people you care about decide to treat you this way. and this feelings sitcks with you , even thought you try to forget it. you cannot understand why,espeically if they give no reason,whiwh is why i would also advise you to tell her exactly what is happeening( it will ease her pain to know the truth , because contrary to what may be believed; ignorance is NOT bliss.it ends in constantly questioning yourself and seeing yourself as inferior, when you are treated in this way by people you love. you end up feeling like you have no one. do you really want her to feel this way?
you are a woman. he is man. sure it may be natural for you to be someonhow attracted toeach other, but can you not rise above this for the sake of your friend. i admit in writitng this i am thinking maybe it is i who needs help, yet i just wanted to give you the other perspective , the one of the person who is not going to win in this situation, before you make your choice. in the end the choice is simple;tell her what is going on , but do not carry on the realstionship with this cheating man, and risk losing both of them but maintaining your integrity, or tell her exactly what is ahppening continueon the destructive path of a relationship with this man and then lose both of them completely and end up hurting yourself aswell as others.
finally,if you beleive that breaking your friends heart and causing her pain by following your stupid animalistic urges is the right thing to do , then you certainly do not deserve the title of friend.
...............................
A
male
reader, Courts +, writes (14 July 2005):
dear three is a crowdput yourself in this position: how would you feel if it was your boyfriend doing what you did? not only are you making things worse for yourself but for your boyfriend and his friend. just leave things alone.
...............................
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (13 July 2005):
Leave him alone! what kind of friend are you to steal her boyfriend??? A very selfish one.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinksoftkitten +, writes (13 July 2005):
It's always difficult when this situation crops up, you fancy him, he fancies you, and you want to take it further.
You must think of how your friend would feel if she found out. She would most likely feel hurt, betrayed, angry etc. Her boyfriend would not want to deal with that, so he will say it was your idea to chase him. It would end up very messy, and you probably wouldn't date after the fall out anyway.
Remember friends are forever, men come and go. Don't ever betray another woman to be in a man's arms. They wont soothe your heartache at what you've done to your reputation and your friends. Tell this man to back off, he's your friends man, and you wouldn't want a man that does things behind your back like he's doing to his girlfriend anyway. Support your friend, it sounds like she's going to need it. Be there for her, the best friend you can be.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2005): Correction..he's your soon to be ex-friend's b/f. I think you know in your heart and mind that you don't mess with another girl's boyfriend, especially a girl you call a friend. And what about him...don't think he won't do it to you someday. If you are having guilt about what you did..do the right thing and come clean with your friend. Tell her what you and him did behind her back. You will risk losing her as a friend and HER b/f will likely be pissed that he got caught and not date you anymore. But all in all, you will have done the right thing. Move on and make new friends and DO NOT mess with guys that are dating your friends. That's an extremely selfish thing to do and it doesn't say much about your integrity and moral character as a person. I am at a loss to understand this but...somehow, people become so convinced about what they're entitled to that they completely lose sight of what they are responsible for. It doesn't matter who gets hurt, as long as they get what we want. That's my opinion..take it or leave it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Girl talk +, writes (13 July 2005):
Tell your friend whats up .Then decide what is more important a friend or someone you like. Remember men come and go real friends are hard to come by.
...............................
A
female
reader, salem +, writes (12 July 2005):
Back off. Two very good reasons why: 1.)As you mentioned, he is your friend's boyfriend. So be a good friend, and stay away from the boy she cares about and is in a relationship with. 2.) The odds are if he will cheat on her, he will cheat on you. If you back off now, he can end his current relationship with your friend, and you can begin anew with him when the timing is right.
...............................
|
