A
female
age
41-50,
*aroline1955
writes: Hi Everyone, Please help me out !A week ago, I went to this party , and I met this wonderful guy, who was also from the same country as I am. We kept chatting and it was amazing. he took my phone number and he texted me the same night to tell me how much he enjoyed the party with me. H called me after two days, and we kept chatting for hours. Then he said; you know I really like you, but I have a girlfriend and I m really not sure about her..I felt so bad , but I pretended to be okay with it and I said we can just be friends , no problem. He said , yes , we can do that. He calls me every night after work. He is so polite and educated ( PHD in nuclear energy). He keeps telling me how much he enjoys speaking to me and how confortable it makes him feel , especially that he gets to speak his mother tongue with me!! I really like him and I feel he is the one! but I m being so neutral and kind of cold with him..what shall I do..just leave before I get more attached to him , or do I wait until he sort things out with his gf ?? Please help me !!!
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female
reader, caroline1955 +, writes (25 March 2011):
caroline1955 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the advice guys. But I can't stop wondering , why did he tell me from day one he had a girlfriend if he wanted to play ? I would have never found out , he lives so far away and I wouldn't have known at least for the first few months !! I don't know, I guess you are right! I should stop this..It's not fair on anyone of us ..thank you so much guys..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): He's playing you, just leave.
He's emotionally cheating with you on his girlfriend, simple as that.
You're not friends now you're actually a cheater and what's worse OP is that you're intentionally trying to steal another woman's man, have you know heart?
OP if he does this to her because he's unsure, then what happens if you end up with him and he's unsure. You will have no security because you know he's capable of cheating and at the first sign of opportunity and/or trouble between you he'll be gone with another woman.
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A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen +, writes (25 March 2011):
It sounds like you are on a good thing here, but I will bet he is not telling his girlfriend that he is `not sure about her'. Don't get involved until he has sorted things out with her. If he doesn't or won't then forget about him altogether.His polite manner won't count for much if he can't handle his own private life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): This man is having his cake and eating it too. Eventually he will suggest the two of you get together for a "friendly" hang out. Its not a good idea on your part to continue talking to him. I say this because you already took a strong liking to him, and you do not want to devalue yourself by seeing him behind his woman's back. If you do allow him to continue contacting you that's letting him know that you do not have high standards. If you really like him have a talk with him about it, and tell him if he is planning on staying with his gf, you guys may not continue to be friends, because you are going to eventually want more
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