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We kissed on our last date. Should I stay with her, even though I am not attracted to her?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating, Sex, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2016) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2016)
A age 30-35, * writes:

Dating a girl I'm not completely attracted to?

I met this girl on a dating app and we've been on two dates so far.

I like her personality so far and think shes kind of pretty but I'm not as attracted to her like I was with other girls I've dated(limited).

On the one hand, I dont think I can let it develop to a serious relationship unless I'm very very attracted to her.

On the other hand,I'm a 22 yr old virgin turning 23 and feel like if it doesnt happen with this girl its going to happen a lot later given the options I usually have. We kissed on our last date.

What should I do?

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (28 February 2016):

You owe it to her not to make a mess of things by leading her on thru dating her even though you are not attracted to her. Any attraction you do have will only dwindle as the newness wears off. You'll either drop her and possibly break her heart, or you'll go on in a make-do relationship that becomes more and more disappointing to you.

23 is not old...you haven't yet reached the optimal age for getting married, which is often considered as being in the last half of your 20's or later. You owe it to yourself to not compromise and seek someone who truly makes you happy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2016):

If the attraction isn't there, what can really grow from being with her?

It's not a matter of not letting it grow, there is no logical reason to let it; because you have no desire for her.

It's only friendship, if you're only fond of her personality.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2016):

You don't really see this going anywhere (eg lack of attraction) but at the same time you get the feeling she may put out.

It seems inevitable that the relationship is bound to end one way or another. If you stick around to have sex with her one of two things will happen: you'll have sex once and never talk to her again. Or, you'll stay in a subpar relationship just for the sex. And you'll eventually break up and move on to someone you are attracted to. In both cases, you'll likely feel crappy about it in the end.

I think you should take the high road. Quit seeing her, suck up the dry spell, and hold out for a girl you are really into. That way no one gets hurt.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (27 February 2016):

mystiquek agony auntWise decision. It wouldn't be fair to either of you. You can really care about someone but it doesn't mean that you want them to be your partner. Good luck to you!

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A female reader, Blod United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2016):

Blod agony auntTotally agree with your decision. I think it's the fairest thing to do, for the both of you. Fair play to you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (27 February 2016):

Honeypie agony auntGood for you in ending it.

Chemistry is important in a relationship. Whether it's short term or long term. Attraction is part of it.

Good luck.

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