A
female
 ,
*atybear
writes:So really lilke this guy but am aware that our arangement is only gona be casual and i'm good with that im 21 don't want a serial relationship at the mo... But am wondering if i should get in touch with him, i flirted with him then invited him to a party where we hung out and had sex.. this was all fine and hes told me that he had a really good time and stuff but he hasn't gotten in touch neither have i am i wrong to assume that guys just want someone to have good sex with and deal with only when the "catching up " is on the agenda cos a guy mate of mine said to me today that the stuff that you send each other during the week is nice to get ??? So wot should i do txt or call him or just leave him ??
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female
reader, LISAG +, writes (15 November 2006):
 I take the view that if a guy wants to know, he will let you know i.e. text you first. Let him chase you, at least then you will not feel embarrassed for texting him if he ignores you... when people like you they don't forget you easily - I mean you're thinking about him and wanting more aren't you ? Remember guys don't text straight away or call straight away, they don't want you to think they're desperate, they like to play it cool. Wait and see what happens. You say you are aware it's only gonna be casual so be prepared for that, especially if you make the first move next, but sounds to me like you might want something of a regular thing - well that's not casual is it ? Depends what you honestly want from him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): If you don't want serious relationship, hun, why are you looking to text him? To be honest, if he's not texting you, do you think he really cares? Dear, you won't like what I am going to say, but I've never been one to worry what people think so here goes. What I can’t comprehend is why you are acting desperate to be in contact over a guy, you have agreed to have casual sexual encounters with? Are you not worth much more than that? Of course you are. Let's recap: You are having sex with a guy who doesn't give a hoot about you. You are giving him what he wants. so there is no connections, no committment, no love, no respect...just sex. Are you 'honestly" really okay with this arrangement, hun? I am saying you aren't because now you are wondering if it's okay to text him. Why do you want to do that, with someone who has not established an emotional bond to you? Just because someone has sex with you doesn’t mean that any affection exists. So, by reading your posting, I think you do want a relationship based on love, respect..one where you can share a wonderful intimacy with a guy who appreciates you and is devoted to you. And that's what you should be holding out for. What you are doing now with this guy, will have long range emotional backlash and ramifications, in your future not to mention STD's, pregnancies and the heartfelt grief of being 'used' by some jerk who doesn't care. Someday you will meet a wonderful guy who loves you..how do you tell 'him' about all this? A lot of decent, nice guys have trouble dealing with promiscuous behaviors..they don't want a female like that. They have upheld themselves to a high standard and will expect the same. Start believing in yourself and have the self-respect, the dignity and the pride in yourself and never allow yourself to be treated like this again...ever. Sex is precious, beautiful act with the right person, dear. Only have sex when you are in a relationship with someone who loves you, who cares for you, and who will appreciate the gift of your body and emotions. Never accept anything less. I really, really think you need to readjust your dating methods. My suggestion: Dump this twerp and never contact him again and never ever allow any guy to treat you like this again. You deserve better...believe that.
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