A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm gay, and my roommate from last year in the dorms was also gay. Within the first 2 weeks of school we were hooking up but not telling anyone about it publicly or even discussing it to ourselves. Things stopped for awhile then all of second semester we would hook up still not telling anyone else or making anything beyond our doors. When I moved into an apartment last June, he slept over one night after we had drank wine with friends and we ended up hooking up again. We didn't see each other for awhile after that because he left the city and then when school started up again In September he had started dating someone he met. I still saw him frequently and we texted and spoke a lot because we are good friends. Him and his boyfriend aren't exactly that together right now and I've been seeing him a lot but nothing sexual. He occupies a good portion of my thinking and I'm afraid if I tell him anything about my feelings it will ruin our friendship. I don't think much would happen anyway if I did tell him my feelings, he's the type to get a lot of attention from guys and is used to lots of guys developing crushes on him. I'm different though because we are good friends. He's the type that if he wants something he would've made that clear by now. Maybe I'm wrong though? Maybe it would help to tell him my feelings? They're very strong and it hurts me that we aren't together. Out of anger (drunken anger) I've written an email to him that I did not send. My biggest problem is that we never talked about what happened in the dorm with us and I've yet to get over it because for the first time it felt right and I didn't realize how much I like being with him till we moved out of our little dorm.
View related questions:
crush, moved in, moved out, roommate, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Adelaide +, writes (25 January 2007):
 Hi,
You are getting yourself in a stew!
Firstly,
contact your friend, arrange to meet him, have your usual laughs and jokes, then as the evening progresses, try and open up and tell him how you are really feeling.
Honesty is the best policy in any relationship, friendship, it is imperative that he knows how you are feeling.
If you let this situation carry on you are going to get hurt badly, you will feel used and effectively you are putting your life on hold for this guy.
Be positive go for the honesty policy and try and talk things through, If this guy is a true friend as you have clearly stated he is, then the honesty policy should not affect your friendship in any way shape or form it will merely mean he has a clear understanding of how you have truly been feeling.
Go for it!
Good Luck and Kindest Regards
Adelaide
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): I think you should tell him, for your own peace of mind. If you don't tell him and nothing ever happens you'll be thinking "what if I had said something" and it'll be almost impossible for you to get over him. But if you say something and he says he doesn't feel the same way from you, at least you'll know and you can start the process of getting over him. And there's always the possibility that he feels the same way for you! he's been sleeping with you and he enjoys your company so even if he's not in the right place for a relationship with you, he likes you.
I rather regret something I've done than something I haven't done. Having to live with a "what if" kills me. Take a chance. At least you'll know that you've tried.
...............................
|
