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anonymous
writes: Hola agony-aunts! Recently I've developed strong feelings for a friend I've known for the past 3 yrs. She now attends college in a different town except during this summer where she is back home until next fall. While on a trip to the town where she attends college, I set aside time for me and her to hang out before I went home that evening. We ended up spending the ENTIRE day together, having lunch AND dinner while being completely immersed in great conversation and laughs the whole time. I can't stop thinking about her since. Two problems now reside over my decision to ask her to be more than friends:-she is currently dating a guy who I've known as the son of my dad's now ex-girlfriend. We are not so much "friends", but friendly aquaintances.-we will both be attending different schools this fall, making me think any attempt at her heart seems pointless as we will be apart while we're both in school, possibly ending our courtship. (I have little faith in long-distance relationships)I've fallen for her in a huge way & I can't stand the thought of just letting her go, but would I be intrusive to suggest our being together while she is still with her bf? And does a long-distance relationship seem plausible in any case? I'm very grateful for any advice that may be offered...
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2005): You could be defined as a homewrecker. But, that all depends on your friend's opinion. You will not know that unless you have a talk with her. Keep in mind you might meet a whole new set of friends at college and you will regret being in a long distance relationship.
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reader, carla +, writes (3 June 2005):
She thinks of you more as a friend, so if you want her in your life then keep it that way.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (2 June 2005):
 Long distant relationships can work providing there is plenty of contact through telephone conversations, emails, etc. It also depends on your depth of feeling and trust for each other as to whether it would work.Your biggest problem, however, is that she is seeing someone. She may be happy with him, she may be unhappy, I don't know. I think that trying to suggest to her romance between you and her may not exactly be 'ethical'. It all depends on how serious her relationship is with this guy.Saying that, I don't see any harm in suggesting to her that you keep in contact and that you really enjoyed being with her. You could say that you really like her and that if she wasn't seeing someone, you would ask her out. I think this may be the best way to approach it.I hope this helps.
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